My blueberry muffin came with a heaping side order of Jesus. Seriously, the last thing I need in the morning is a scolding from above – I can’t really get much more humble or meek, so stop force feeding me Repent Sinner Pie and let me inherit the damn earth already.

Of course, I’m not really in a good position to bitch about this. Last night I forgot all about my morals and let Ed order pizza from Domino’s, a chain I had been actively avoiding for years due to their founder supporting pro-life religious and political organizations. This is highly distasteful to me, so I avoided Domino’s for years and years while feeling morally superior and smug about it all. Then came last night, when I was so tired and hungry I forgot all about my socially aware reasonings and ate pizza of the damned. It wasn’t until after I had finished dinner and wondered aloud why it had been so long since we’ve ordered from them that I remembered my womanly outrage and promptly felt many shames. I am a bad person.

To make up for it, I am going to choose whether or not I would like an abortion. My decision: no thank you, I am fine as it but thank you very much for the choice and perhaps someday I will take you up on your kind offer.

Take that, religious right.

I feel a little less guilty this morning after doing some research and finding that the loony founder doesn’t have much to do with the company anymore so it’s not like Domino’s is taking the $25 I paid them last night and using it to force some poor woman to have a child she can’t afford. This is good, because it was a damn fine pizza and I plan on eating the leftovers for dinner tonight. I realize I should still have some outrage left over allegations of employee abuse, but there’s only so many things I can be angry about and still be able to purchase goods and services so I will instead focus my incredulous nature towards things happening in my own backyard and not, say, way over there in the UK.

Tasty, tasty pizza.