Things I have done today that you probably have not:

• Downloaded Britney Spears and Journey in the same heartbeat without a trace of irony
• Took my pants off in the parking lot
• Contemplated dangerous elective surgery for fun
• Rickrolled Ed because he got a bad song stuck in my head
• Asked my boss for popcorn money
• Been reprimanded but secretly lauded for declaring myself Electron Overlord in my email signature
• Decided over the course of 15 seconds that Miranda and I are going to Japan next winter, and started planning

.. just a normal Wednesday morning ‘round these parts.

I do believe I’ve been punk’d by ICBC. Yesterday my only piece of mail was an insurance renewal card in my name for a license plate I do not own. I immediately came to two conclusions – either ICBC was playing a city-wide April Fool’s joke, or someone had thefted my identity and was insuring cars left and right in my name. The latter didn’t seem likely, but the former was absolutely definitely what happened and I had to track the criminal down and beat them up or perhaps steal the car they insured in my name. Fortunately, I was too tired to do any of that right away so I resolved to wear my crime-fighting clothes under my regular work clothes just in case I was called upon to fight some crime.

As is the story of much of my life, the real reason behind the renewal notice was much less interesting than anything I imagined. I called ICBC this morning and after spending a million years on hold, I learned that I have a generic “extra insurance” policy attached to my person in case I get killt and the killer doesn’t have enough insurance to cover my expenses. That’s it. No crime, no fake Kimlis roaming the streets of Vancouver terrorizing citizens, nothing but a normal boring reasonable explanation.

I appear to be in some serious need of adventure.