I had an update all planned out in my head for this morning, but that was before I came within half an inch of death this morning.

If anyone sees a black Honda Civic with the BC license plate 913 ETV driven by a brunette princess or her bald, suited paramour, please kick their door in. Or spit on them. Or hell, maybe you could cut them off on the Stanley Park Causeway at a very high speed and give them that wonderful second of certainty that they are about to die and there is absolutely nothing they can do about it. If I’m at all lucky, their instincts will NOT kick in like mine and they might just die in a fire as I almost did this morning.

I almost threw up on my scooter – not because of my stomach bug, but because if I hadn’t tuned Oscar up last month I would be dead right now. That is not a good way to start any morning, let alone a Wednesday.

When I’ve calmed down, I will tell you about Billy.