There was a glue stick sitting on my desk when I got into The Lab this morning. Clearly, someone is trying to give me a secret message about Ed’s penis.

Yesterday at dinner we had a merry time discussing dumb things we’ve done in the past. As I am without faults, I had no dumb stories to contribute – a view that was not shared by everyone at the table, given that they all had examples of my stupidity to offer up. The final nail in my coffin of composure came after the meal – I couldn’t find my cell phone. I looked everywhere; emptied out my bag, searched my pockets, looked under the table, under plates, in the crevasses of the padded seat. Nothing. In desperation, I had Josh call my phone so I could hear it from wherever it ended up. He dialed, we waited, and .. Rise Against started singing from the confines of my now-vibrating left bosom. In my wisdom, I had stuffed my phone in my bra (as I often do), but completely forgot about it. I am a smart cookie.

Apparently there is a massive shoe sale at Army and Navy this morning; something so epic it’s getting a lot of news and blog coverage. I do not understand this. It is a shoe sale. It’s at a scary store, in a scary part of town, and yet people line up? For shoes? The regulars along Hastings must absolutely love the steaming throngs of rich women hanging out in their living room.

I’m sure I’d be much less scornful if I were into shoes in any sort of big way, but I just don’t understand.