Grand Theft Auto IV is launching at midnight, and I kinda want to go. I’ve never been to a midnight launch before, and while I really expect it’s going to be nothing more than sleepy employees and excited neck beards standing in line in a deserted mall, I’m tempted. I also desperately want to bring a decanter of coffee with me, and offer up Hot Coffee to anyone who wants it. I am hilarious, you see.

Ooh – if I decide to go to the launch, I’ll have a perfect excuse to NAP when I get home from work. I am the Master of the Nap – it doesn’t matter how much sleep I got or the time of day or how much caffeine I just had; put me in bed and stick a cat on my ass and I’m out cold within 15 minutes. Of course, I can’t sleep when it’s bed time for reals, but I’ve learned to function anyway. And tonight if I can’t sleep, I’ll have a new video game to play. It makes perfect sense for me to go to the mall at midnight. I’d be a fool NOT to go!

Now that I’ve talked myself into it, it’s time to convince Josh he needs to come with me and that he should bring a baseball bat, just in case.