Co-Worker: You’ve given me the best Valentine’s Day present EVER!
Me: Just don’t tell your girlfriend; that could get awkward.
Co-Worker: Oh it’s okay – you’ve already given me syphilis and herpes.
Brand New Department Manager: Pardon ME?!

*snort*

Oh, and I successfully negotiated Co-Worker’s release – he’s been held hostage by provisioning pirates for the last 9 months, but in two weeks we will pay their ransom of gold bullion and sheep and get him back to friendlier waters. At least, that’s the plan. There’s always a chance for treachery to be afoot.