I’m not the tidiest of people, but there’s a method to my madness. I love my clutter and tiny toys and piles upon piles of small paper things, but it’s all useful and interesting and organized (not to mention potentially hazardous in an earthquake). I know I have a lot of stuff, but I do try to keep it somewhat under control – I spend a lot of time straightening my things to satisfy my need for the esthetically pleasing. I have a system, okay. Don’t mock my system, or I’ll cut you.

So it absolutely KILLS me to come into work and eyeball the chaos surrounding my desk – I’m seriously about one more 4’ high pile of discarded cardboard away from snapping and having an epic tantrum. I used to have an entire row of three cubicles to myself, but they brought in a temp and parked her in the station next to mine. She listens to horrible music and rambles at me – annoying , but I can deal – but OH MY GOD SHE’S SUCH A SLOB! I know the nature of the job leads to a lot of clutter, but this is INSANE. I’ve already (unsuccessfully) petitioned to get her moved to another desk, and have sent numerous messages to both her and the regular shipping person about piling equipment and miscellaneous shit around my desk. I have to actively crawl over piles of routers and cables and boxes just to find my seat, and it’s pissing me off. It’s a fire hazard. And those are just the work items – she also leaves her dirty sneakers under her desk and her personal stuff everywhere. The shoes just plain gross me out, and the rest of it is causing me untold amounts of angst. Fine, be messy – but stop being messy in my bubble. Your disgusting shoes have no place in my bubble.

Normally I would just slap her silly, but she’s the daughter of a co-worker. What’s the proper etiquette here? Am I doomed to a chaotic workplace for all eternity?

I am giving some serious thought to buying a button maker. They’re expensive – $300 for a good one – but I could make all the buttons I wanted. I could make Delicious Juice Dot Com buttons! I could send them to people! You want to wear my oranges on your person, don’t you?! I could have a great deal of fun with a button maker, I think. I could also get into trouble, which is frankly half the fun.

Must. Stop. Looking. At. Craft. Supplies. On. Etsy.