Miranda is turning 30 on the 20th, and has decided she is having a Fancy Dress Party to celebrate. People have been asking us to define “fancy”, to which I have been responding with “whatever means fancy to you”. Top hat and tails? Jeans without holes? Cocktail dress? Ball gown? Cashmere twin set with pearls? All of these things apply.

I had been pushing Miranda to throw a costume party, so to placate my wishes (because it is important that I get what I want on HER birthday) she added a decree – dress as fancy as you like, but OVER THE TOP fancy will be true name of the game. Well! Over the top, eh? I believe I just might be able to do that.

It just so happens that I’ve been looking for an underbust corset for some time. Unlike a traditional corset, of which I own several, an underbust corset is meant to display the entire bosom instead of just the top. When I heard that I was to be over the top fancy for the party, I knew what I had to do – take it literally.

I wasn’t sure how much an off-the-shelf underbust corset would cost me, or where I’d even find one with enough time to prepare for the party – but the internet came through for me once again. Courtesy of eBay, I was able to procure not one but THREE ridiculous corsets for the party that fit astonishingly well for the price tag (the three corsets including exchange came to less than $80 with free shipping). They’re glorious, they’re hysterical, and they fit – I am thrilled.

When I got home, I promptly tried on my intended outfit for Ed – it includes pasties out of necessity, not for fun – and he did an immediate double-take and declared the getup to be “too much” for outside wear.

Jackpot.

Citation for indecent exposure, here I come. I can’t wait!

I can, however, wait for this weekend: I do NOT want to go to Victoria. It’s going to be wet, cold, uncomfortable and boring. Playing nursemaid for my demanding mother is a thing of horror under the best of circumstances; this time I won’t be able to run away on my scooter for a few precious moments of sanity. You’re damn right I’m afraid, and for good reason. She pees in a bucket, people. This is not normal.

Updated to include links – headache has made me forgetful. The corsets came from Hong Kong and were probably made by tiny orphans who receive one meager bowl of watery gruel per day and get beaten when they don’t sew fast enough, but I try not to think about that (I’m kidding – please don’t storm my castle with pitchforks). There are three different stores on eBay that are actually the same group, with slightly different stock in each one:

Rouge Roses

Make Me Sexy

and Wedding Checklist

I’ve since bought a 4th corset, which is on the way here. I’d like to actually replace the lacing in the ones I have – they came laced with ribbon which, while pretty, does little to keep things snug – but they’re really awesome especially for the price.

And if you’re curious as to just how ridiculous we’re talking:

you will never, ever see me in this - but it is spectacular.

This is the only full corset I bought – I couldn’t resist.