Every time I see a movie, I have to do the dance – so if you’ll bear with me for just a second:

omg, I totally saw a movie! This is, like, rilly becoming a habit! Before the end of the year I bet I’ll see another, and like totally be up to FOUR MOVIES which is more than I’ve seen in the last 5 years combined! Hee hee hee!

Okay, done. This afternoon, Shan Heather Gillian and I went to go see Easy A at Metrotown. It was really cute and I enjoyed it a lot, but it did what the previous 2 (or 5, if you count individual showings of Scott Pilgrim which I clearly do) films I’ve seen this year hadn’t managed: remind me why I hate seeing movies.

They make me dissatisfied with my life! For example, right now I’m utterly disgruntled with everything because I am not a smoking hot movie character living a well-written and pithily commentated existence accompanied by a catchy soundtrack. It’s not fair! I want to be awesome and hot and get the guy in the end!

Isn’t that stupid? I have an awesome life that I routinely gush about on a regular basis. Real people don’t live movie plots; things don’t usually happen over the course of 120 minutes and wrap up with a neat little bow over the end credits. Still, it makes me wish that I had that kind of life – relatively easy, filled with gorgeous people, with a good underlying message. Even if movie characters have to get up and go to work in the morning, they’d get a a peppy montage filled with wardrobe changes, a cute pet, taxi rides in New York and an awkward encounter with the hot guy in Marketing. Instead, I’ll get too little sleep, will hate my clothes because everything makes me look fat, take a traffic-lined obstacle course through the poorest part of Vancouver, and an awkward encounter with everyone because I am the office freak. That’s not fun at all – I mean, it kind of is, but it’s not movie fun. It’s “make the best of the situation” fun.

I thought about this on the scooter ride home, and I think I know why this feeling that something is missing didn’t come up from the depths of my psyche when I saw the other two movies. With Eclipse, it’s because there’s nothing I want less than that life – for starters, I enjoy expressing emotions. I’m also not big on abstinence. With Scott Pilgrim vs. The World .. well, my life is actually already like that. Sure, Ed didn’t have to battle the League of Evil Exes to date me, but he DID have to come to terms with my rather colourful online personality and the myriad of people who had claimed me for their own. Video game references? Yeah, my days are filled with more of those than you can count. A hilarious life in a major Canadian city with a cool cast of characters? I have all that, plus a few extra – so no, Scott Pilgrim didn’t make me wish my life was more awesome; it was more like a documentary with the names changed to protect the people who didn’t sign the release form. To avoid feeling like this, I don’t normally watch coming of age movies – Shan and Heather were going home to watch Say Anything; I just wanted a ham sandwich – so this time, I got caught by my wishful daydreams of a fanciful, impossible life.

I know this’ll pass, and I will go back to knowing how great my life is. For the next few minutes though, I’m going to mope because I’m not starring in a movie. Then I’ll get up and make tacos for dinner, because tacos > ham sandwich. Tomorrow is a new day – and who knows what that’ll bring, but whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be pretty awesome. How can it not? I’m the star of my own epic saga, and the happy ending is just an extra $20.