I do not know what I am eating.

Tech Support ordered food in from Memphis Blues BBQ, and as I couldn’t escape to get lunch, I scavenged a meal from the leftovers. There were random chunks of disturbingly anthropomorphic meat that clearly came from different animals in a large pan, but no one could tell me what they used to be. I was too hungry to really think about it, so I grabbed the least-offensive looking meat and made off like a hobo.

Back at my desk though, I had a chance to really look at what was on my plate. I peeled off a strip of what I thought was chicken, but .. it wasn’t. And it looks like it came from a hoof or a leg. I am no vegetarian, so I have a passing knowledge of what most meats taste like – but I can’t place the flavour, and that worries me. Don’t most things taste like chicken? This doesn’t taste anything like chicken. Oh god, am I eating people?

That’s it, isn’t it. I am totally eating people. People taste very gamy – not even the BBQ sauce is masking the oddly bland and chewy eau du flesh. This is no good, both morally and flavourly.

OH SHIT I turned my plate – my piece of people is on BONE. I see cracked bone and marrow and what is quiet possibly the charred remains of pants! Oh, this is terrible. Whoever my god is, he or she probably doesn’t look too fondly on cannibalism, even if it was by mistake. I’m doomed! DOOOOOOOOMED!

While I am worrying about my mortal soul and the ethics of eating really, really locally, I invite you to look at this:

It’s from some silly looking app called “Spice Booth“. Enjoy!