My thighs hurt. Sating the appetites of more than a dozen people is hard work.

So, a long time ago I wrote this post about my adventures in modeling school. In the post I mentioned that there were pictures, which seemed to generate a little excitement and offers of money (which has yet to materialize – c’mon, people). In the spirit of having no shame, I will share these horrible pictures with you.

Sort of.

In the original post, I mentioned the “product shot” images that were taken. When I went looking for them the other night, they were nowhere to be found. I did, however, find a small strip of two OTHER images taken on July 16 1986, according to the handwriting on the back – a head shot and a full body shot to see if I had any potential as a model.

I’m sure you can imagine how well this all went over with me.

Nonetheless, I give to you: Kimli the 12 year old supermodel!

strike a pose!

Check out the awesome Gowan hair and the highly stylish lab coat. I would also like you to please note the jeans I am wearing – I distinctly remember those jeans; they were a light acid wash with big pink and green flowers all over them in an equally acid washed print. They were awesome. The floppy shirt I’m wearing under my lab coat was a dark blue, if I remember correctly. The mullet is not really a mullet but a result of wearing a baseball cap at all other times and then a vigorous pre-photo brushing, giving me that awesome fluffy helmet that I’m sure will make a fashion comeback any day now. On my feet: Reebok high-tops, with velcro. I think they were pink. All of this on a 12 year old tomboy who’s only concern at the time was the upcoming release of the Transformers movie. It was totally awesome, and in no way scarring and humiliating.

This picture was taken before it was decided that perhaps I would be better suited for hair shows. I don’t think I have any pictures from that time frame, but there were a great many perms that did a lot of damage to my previously bone-straight Asian hair. You can see the progression in the rest of my school photos – my hair is straight straight straight straight holy hell what happened to you.

As soon as I find the other modeling pictures, I promise I will scan them – you’ll just have to do with these ones for now.

So hot.

I miss my dad.

Love you, dad.

I am sad, damnit.

Tomorrow is the Deathiversary, and I am suffering from a severe case of premature ejaculation sadness. Compounding matters is the guilt. I have guilt. Have I mentioned my guilt?

I feel guilty for being sad. Half of me spends the entire time I’m sad thinking “dude it’s been three years, get over it” – and the other half of me is incredulous at my own insensitivity, thinking “dude your dad died and it’s only been three years, you can be sad as you want for as long as you want” and then there’s another part of me thinking “I want some Diet Coke”.

It’s stupid. I know it’s stupid. There is no statute of limitations on grief, and I loved my dad and it sucks that he’s gone. It’s been three years – somehow that seems like an eternity, but some days it feels like it was last week.

I had the first two deathiversaries off, so I could wallow around in my own sadness. Tomorrow I have no such luxury, and I’m wondering how it’s all going to play out.

Then there’s the guilt for the whole “going to New York when my dad was sick because my mom insisted that’s what he would want and then his taking a severe turn for the worse while I was 3000 miles away and making it back to Victoria literally half an hour before he died meaning I never got to hear his voice or know that he heard me telling him I loved him” thing, which is a whole other epic spell in a therapist’s chair.

Yeah, today is full up with the sad.

And yet, I feel bad for feeling sad.

I am not so smart.

(I don’t know if yesterday’s post scared everyone away – I’m getting a lot of visits but very few comments on the post. c’mon, people. I gave it my best effort!)

Last night Josh mentioned he was scanning old photos and uploading them to the Flickrs. He also took pictures of pictures (mind: blown) so we could all see how cute he was when he was little and how disturbing he was during his rotten punk kid years, in contrast to the beer-soaked beast we frequently mingle with today. Inspired and frankly bored with the Gretzky documentary Ed was watching and trying very hard not to cry to, I decided to scan some myself.

Behold my glory!

Kimli the Tiny

Age: 10 - Sweater: hideous

Age: 11 - Glue: Sniffed

Grade 9 with tragic perm

Grade 10 - giant hair

Grade 11 - relatively normal

Age 15, in Montreal

The Passport Series

Even more horrible photos can be found on my Flickrs. See me as a Brownie! See me in a hat! Check out my horrible, horrible prom dress and the giant rack it contained!

Hopefully this makes up for yesterday.

(this is NOT for the squeamish)

(seriously)

(do not click “more”)

(you’ll regret it)

Continue reading →

toothpastefordinner.com

I got a letter in the mail today. It seems my doctor’s office can’t get a hold of me – my phone number recently changed, and they probably don’t have my new one.

They’re trying to get in touch with me because “we have a medical matter to discuss with you”.

I totally have a new aids, don’t I.

Heaven, I say. I made a quick lunch hour trip to the Bay because Clinique is doing the bonus gift thing, and that’s the only time I ever buy Clinique products. I came back to work planning to spend the afternoon playing with makeup and maybe working, but then the receptionist called me – I had a package. I went to collect it, and yay it’s my stuff from Sephora! I am up to my sparkly, glossy NECK in girl stuff and it is delightful!

Also, I can’t decide if I like this perfume sample. I think I kinda do.

Yay for Friday afternoon fun!

I don’t normally do two bullet point posts in a row, but you’re going to have to bare with me today – I’m swamped in sticky chemicals at The Lab and don’t actually have TIME to think in complete sentences let alone try to be entertaining at it.

Things That Are Currently Making Me All Stabby:

• Disruptive, argumentative people during training sessions who turn out to be wrong anyway
• The protesters across the street
• My increasing fears that my shiny new WSD will make my skin break out in horrible ways
• My new face scrub smells like tartar sauce
• I don’t have any plans for this weekend, and I want to have some fun
• My hair sucks
• Why is there an xacto knife in the bathroom
• Quality Assurance

In the grand scheme of things, none of that is too bad at all. Here is the flipside:

Things That Are Super:

• The weather is going to be gorgeous this weekend, so even if I end up doing very little it’s bound to be epic
• I’m going to have a tasty dinner tonight by myself if I have to (because no one is answering any of my emails; that should be up there in the stabby list)
• There’s a rumour floating around that the Horrible Person has up and quit on us
• It’s payday, and I do believe I will do some shopping after work
• My p8tch came in the mail yesterday and I now I am even nerdier than before
• Slowly but surely, Lemon is integrating himself into our family – last night he slept on Hobble for quite some time and it was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

Good times.