Meat and cheese left out overnight are probably not the safest things I could eat, but it’s in pizza form so that should hopefully negate any festering germs that might have settled. Besides, I’m hungry. Leftover pizza for the win.

It’s been a very quiet week. Lousy weather means we’re less inclined to do things, and the overcast cloudiness of it all has made me very sleepy. Our evenings have been spent watching Olympics coverage (Ed) and alternating bathing and playing video games (me). Two nights in a row now I’ve fallen asleep long before my usual bedtime of midnight. You’d think the extra sleep was doing me a service, but no – I wake up in the morning more tired than ever and have to literally drag myself into the shower to start my day. The rain is good, I suppose, but I’ll be glad when the skies clear and I can scoot to and fro without having to carry extra pants.

I honestly have nothing to say. I’ve had blog blocks before, but always managed to dig a story or two from my past to fill in the creativity holes. My residual weariness from the week is making me draw a blank, though – I have no more stories. Did I run out, or can I just not remember any? This is scary.

Wait, I think I have one: have I told the story about the glue before?

Went to the office
I worked all day
58 different documents
To determine if your internet is okay

But now I’m jaded
You’re out of luck
I’m rolling down the stairs
Too drunk tired to fuck write a proper update

I’ve almost missed this – there’s a huge fight going on outside our building. Actually, the fight is over – we’re watching the cops sort out the bad guys from the stupid guys and also tend to the guy who got maced or bear sprayed or something. Fun! Ed made me shut up though, because I was beaking off – something about my not believing the “we were bringing cakes and flowers to grandmama when we were jumped out of NOWHERE!” story being given.

Now that I’m on a real computer, I can wax more poetry about the situation. It’s the same old story – group of guys innocently walking down the street minding their own business when they’re attacked by a large group of natives for NO REASON. Except I’m more than just a little skeptical at that story – I was awake, and heard the screaming back and forth. “Innocent” doesn’t mean “well yeah I was yelling back and calling them all faggots and shit”, it means being the bigger person and walking away from it. It doesn’t mean starting a fight then running down the street to your buddy’s building, waking up the entire place with screaming in the hallways and talk of getting knives to jump them guys that done you wrong. FUCK those guys. The idiots upstairs – who actually had no part in this; it was their friends (again) – do this all the fucking time, and I am so sick of it.

After most of the drama had ended, we were treated to a long, rambling diatribe by the head boy scout who didn’t seem to have much of a point other than it was everyone’s fault but his. He royally pissed off the native girl who lives downstairs by being a racist asshole, then got pissy at her when she tried to say “actually, not all First Nations people are like that”. She couldn’t get a word in edgewise, so she just walked away while Beaky McInnocent kept spouting out more bullshit.

Fuck those guys. They’re storming down the stairs right now after having told everyone within earshot that they’re going to go after the gang that attacked them – “watch, in two hours it’ll all happen again”. Why’s that, you goddamn moron? Why don’t you just fucking go home and take the fight THERE instead of it always, always being here? You don’t even fucking LIVE here, you son of a bitch. Fuck you and fuck your friends and fuck the whole frat boy “I deserve to be drunk and obnoxious and who are you to tell me otherwise” mentality.

At first I was amused, but now I’m just pissed.

My lunch – a Teen burger from A&W with no cheese and no lettuce – is *heavy* with mayonnaise.

Nothing anywhere ever should EVER be heavy with mayonnaise.

EVER.

*shudder*

There was a FedEx delivery slip on my door when I got home from work today. I have no idea what it is! I definitely have a list of things I’m waiting for, but everything I’ve ordered was shipped by regular post. What is coming to me via fancy delivery? I do not know! Did anyone send me a present? Ooh, the anticipation!

I like getting things in the mail.

I wonder if this package will contain plastic rape toys.

This is just heartbreaking. On behalf of all girls with chubby faces and uneven teeth who were told “you’re perfect, but ..”, I welcome Yang Peiyi into our ranks and encourage her to continue being awesome. Fuck the pretty girls – they’re a dime a dozen, but real talent is hard to find.

The little girl who starred at the Olympic opening ceremony was miming and only put on stage because the real singer was not considered attractive enough, the show’s musical director has revealed.

I’m a cold, cold person, but my heart just aches for the singer. Can you imagine being chosen over literally billions of others to represent your country on the largest stage on the planet – only to be told that you’re being visually replaced because you’re not pretty enough? What kind of monster would do that to anyone, let alone a 7 year old child? Holy shit. I am beyond disgusted, and perhaps also having flashbacks.

He said the final decision to stage the event with Lin lip-synching to another girl’s voice was taken after a senior member of China’s ruling Communist Party politburo attended a rehearsal.

FUCK those guys.

As seen on the back of a car during my commute this morning:

“Real Cowgirl’s want more than just an 8 second ride”

Let’s count the things that are wrong:

• Darlin’, you’re in a Mazda 6
• .. driving to downtown Vancouver
• with nary a horse, hat, boot or bale of hay in sight
• “Real Cowgirl’s”? Really? Perhaps instead of that eternal ride you’re looking for, you could re-take 4th grade grammar

The entire thing just filled me with snarky amusement, is all.

Okay, you leurkers – come out of the shadows. You’re freaking me out.

There’s been an extremely noticeable spike in hits over the last few days, and I have no idea where you’re all coming from. It makes me feel like I really ought to say something witty and debonair, but now that the pressure is on I’m feeling a little gunshy and hiding behind the green lamp in the corner.

I’m enjoying the laziest of Sundays, with a little bit of productivity now and then. I organized the linen closet in the bathroom, I’m thinking very seriously about a shower, and I’m sure there are several books I could be reading. I like days with ambiguous plans.

That was neither debonair NOR witty, but if the glowing red eyes over there in the corner would come out and say hi, I’m sure I could be interesting again.

According to the average 6-year-old’s understanding of procreation, I may now be pregnant.

Hooray for science!