I’ve almost missed this – there’s a huge fight going on outside our building. Actually, the fight is over – we’re watching the cops sort out the bad guys from the stupid guys and also tend to the guy who got maced or bear sprayed or something. Fun! Ed made me shut up though, because I was beaking off – something about my not believing the “we were bringing cakes and flowers to grandmama when we were jumped out of NOWHERE!” story being given.

Now that I’m on a real computer, I can wax more poetry about the situation. It’s the same old story – group of guys innocently walking down the street minding their own business when they’re attacked by a large group of natives for NO REASON. Except I’m more than just a little skeptical at that story – I was awake, and heard the screaming back and forth. “Innocent” doesn’t mean “well yeah I was yelling back and calling them all faggots and shit”, it means being the bigger person and walking away from it. It doesn’t mean starting a fight then running down the street to your buddy’s building, waking up the entire place with screaming in the hallways and talk of getting knives to jump them guys that done you wrong. FUCK those guys. The idiots upstairs – who actually had no part in this; it was their friends (again) – do this all the fucking time, and I am so sick of it.

After most of the drama had ended, we were treated to a long, rambling diatribe by the head boy scout who didn’t seem to have much of a point other than it was everyone’s fault but his. He royally pissed off the native girl who lives downstairs by being a racist asshole, then got pissy at her when she tried to say “actually, not all First Nations people are like that”. She couldn’t get a word in edgewise, so she just walked away while Beaky McInnocent kept spouting out more bullshit.

Fuck those guys. They’re storming down the stairs right now after having told everyone within earshot that they’re going to go after the gang that attacked them – “watch, in two hours it’ll all happen again”. Why’s that, you goddamn moron? Why don’t you just fucking go home and take the fight THERE instead of it always, always being here? You don’t even fucking LIVE here, you son of a bitch. Fuck you and fuck your friends and fuck the whole frat boy “I deserve to be drunk and obnoxious and who are you to tell me otherwise” mentality.

At first I was amused, but now I’m just pissed.

My lunch – a Teen burger from A&W with no cheese and no lettuce – is *heavy* with mayonnaise.

Nothing anywhere ever should EVER be heavy with mayonnaise.

EVER.

*shudder*

There was a FedEx delivery slip on my door when I got home from work today. I have no idea what it is! I definitely have a list of things I’m waiting for, but everything I’ve ordered was shipped by regular post. What is coming to me via fancy delivery? I do not know! Did anyone send me a present? Ooh, the anticipation!

I like getting things in the mail.

I wonder if this package will contain plastic rape toys.

This is just heartbreaking. On behalf of all girls with chubby faces and uneven teeth who were told “you’re perfect, but ..”, I welcome Yang Peiyi into our ranks and encourage her to continue being awesome. Fuck the pretty girls – they’re a dime a dozen, but real talent is hard to find.

The little girl who starred at the Olympic opening ceremony was miming and only put on stage because the real singer was not considered attractive enough, the show’s musical director has revealed.

I’m a cold, cold person, but my heart just aches for the singer. Can you imagine being chosen over literally billions of others to represent your country on the largest stage on the planet – only to be told that you’re being visually replaced because you’re not pretty enough? What kind of monster would do that to anyone, let alone a 7 year old child? Holy shit. I am beyond disgusted, and perhaps also having flashbacks.

He said the final decision to stage the event with Lin lip-synching to another girl’s voice was taken after a senior member of China’s ruling Communist Party politburo attended a rehearsal.

FUCK those guys.

As seen on the back of a car during my commute this morning:

“Real Cowgirl’s want more than just an 8 second ride”

Let’s count the things that are wrong:

• Darlin’, you’re in a Mazda 6
• .. driving to downtown Vancouver
• with nary a horse, hat, boot or bale of hay in sight
• “Real Cowgirl’s”? Really? Perhaps instead of that eternal ride you’re looking for, you could re-take 4th grade grammar

The entire thing just filled me with snarky amusement, is all.

Okay, you leurkers – come out of the shadows. You’re freaking me out.

There’s been an extremely noticeable spike in hits over the last few days, and I have no idea where you’re all coming from. It makes me feel like I really ought to say something witty and debonair, but now that the pressure is on I’m feeling a little gunshy and hiding behind the green lamp in the corner.

I’m enjoying the laziest of Sundays, with a little bit of productivity now and then. I organized the linen closet in the bathroom, I’m thinking very seriously about a shower, and I’m sure there are several books I could be reading. I like days with ambiguous plans.

That was neither debonair NOR witty, but if the glowing red eyes over there in the corner would come out and say hi, I’m sure I could be interesting again.

According to the average 6-year-old’s understanding of procreation, I may now be pregnant.

Hooray for science!

Today is a lucky, lucky day.

Unfortunately for me, all I feel is an oppressive weariness. I am so very unnaturally tired – much more so than the usual “not a morning person” kind of tired. I can’t help but wonder if I’m coming down with something – perhaps a raging case of mono due to all that making out I did – but I have never been more glad that today is Friday and I have no plans until around 3pm tomorrow. I plan to spend most of the time between 5pm and the aforementioned following-day 3pm naked, in bed, with cats and books and a DS. It will be very, very good.

How tired am I? So tired that I’m wearing a hat.

Now that’s tired.

Come to think of it, spending 080808 in bed WOULD be very lucky. I wonder if there’s any way I could pull it off.

So hey, it’s tattoo time again. The piece I want is text – 8 (or 10, if I mod it a little) words in three lines. Where should I put it? I’m way too tired to make this decision for myself, so I’m leaving it up to the internets. Decide where my ink goes, please. I’d like it to be somewhere readable by me and also by people who don’t get to see me naked on a regular basis, so that should narrow it down a little.

And .. go.

Fuck you, PETA – there are some lines that are just not cool to cross, and this is one of them.

I am going to eat many, many meats today.

Seriously, wtf.