Category Archives: fuuuuuuuu

space rage

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Taking a shower this morning was like swimming in a lake. The water smelled like mud and weeds and more than just a little goose poop – I cannot wait for the water to get back to normal. Last night I wanted nothing more than a hot bath for soaking goodness, but the water was not playing along. BAH.

I’m also experiencing ass marbles at the lack of ice available in the city. I really only drink things with ice in them, and it’s hard to come by except in our freezer where one or more bottles of water are sacrificed for the freezing daily. 7-11, however, claims all their water-based products are 100% safe thanks to their 5-time filtering. I took the plunge and got some ice today – if I die, be sure to check my blood for turbid herpes.

I’ve been having a very difficult time getting a Christmas wish list out of Ed. He’s notoriously hard to buy presents for, and in recent years I’ve had to quite literally beat any semblance of a hint of what he might want or need out of him. Recently I’ve started requesting a formal list from him to at least give me a guideline to go by, but he’s dragging his feet. I set up a list for myself and have had a great deal of fun e-window shopping as well as providing him with any number of ideas for gifty fun. His reluctance to do the same for me is making me grumpy, since I derive a great deal of pleasure from watching people be surprised at their presents. If he doesn’t cough up something soon, I’m going to have to take my gift-buying cues from what I see on TV: power tools, large SUVs, and shaving cream.

Teaching someone the tricky ins and outs of cutting and pasting over the phone is giving me a massive headache.

ow my box

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I saw a recycling box walking around downtown this morning. I wasn’t drunk or anything, but there it was – a large blue recycling box man wearing a cape depicting various things you could stick into his opening. I will have to make a note to invite the recycling box man to my All Out No Holds Barred Corporate Mascot Brawl, because I can’t be the only person who would pay good money to see the Church’s Chicken pounding on the Serta Mattress Sheep.

 

I am very grumpy today and I’m not really sure why. I know it probably has to do with things I need for my various professional lives that people have and are not providing me with, coupled with a healthy dose of the pre-travel wiggles and my always-present stage fright. I am somewhat soothed, though, by this penis-shaped Aqua Pet Josh gave me. It’s chirping at me like it wants something, but my only two options are the button shaped like a heart and the one shaped like a chili pepper. Maybe it wants chili peppers, but really – who DOESN’T want chili peppers? I know I sure do. Quick, someone press my button.

 

I need sleep, some Diet Coke, lunch, to finish packing, and money. All these things will come to me in time, but I bet I would get money even faster if I actually submitted my invoice instead of sitting here pressing buttons and cursing at my space clients under my breath. I am a cranky internet solider today. I don’t blame you if you want to punch me in the box (but please don’t because the last thing I need is a bruised box on top of everything else marbling in my ass today).