I received a ransom note today from a very lazy criminal who obviously used a note generator instead of the tried and true cut and glue method:
I’ve transcribed it here for you:
You will never see your dry cleaning again because I have decided to let it rot in a bag under my desk. I am doing this to prove a point: I am a big stupid jerk with no concern for your white sweater or your green plaid cardigan. I am willing to sacrifice my fancy silk shirt thing and wool pants just to make you sad. I am an evil bastard and there is nothing you can do about it except perhaps give me unlimited blowjobs and sole retention of the big TV and the 360 in the evening.
PS: I will also never ever ever get my passport because see above re: big stupid jerk. Besides, I hate traveling with you because you smell like flowers and insist on making plans to do stuff when all I really want out of life is unlimited blowjobs and use of the 360.
No love,
Ed Random Kidnapper
Well, shit.
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