I am in INTIMATE IMMINENT DANGER!

I very rarely pay attention to product recalls, mostly because I don’t buy normal people items and I happen to enjoy the taste of lead, thank you very much. While reading the Consumerist today though, one product recall caught my eye: Starbucks Fusion Coffee Mugs.

I love Starbucks mugs, and have a little collection of them that I use on a daily basis. I didn’t think the recall applied to me as I couldn’t imagine what a Fusion Coffee Mug was, but I delved further just in case.

Description: This recall involves two styles of Starbucks 14-ounce Fusion Coffee Mugs. The mugs are white and have a black plastic handle, and a stainless steel base. The cups have “Starbucks Coffee” printed on a black stamp or a brown original Starbucks logo stamp.

Uh oh.

Sold at: Mugs with the “Starbucks Coffee” stamp were sold at Starbucks stores nationwide from February 2007 through November 2007 for about $11. Mugs with the original logo stamp were sold only at Starbucks Pike Place store in Seattle, Washington during the same period and for the same price.

Shit.

The recall is for the exact mug I have sitting on my desk right now. Oh, of all the desks in all the living rooms in the world, why did it have to walk into mine? I am in DANGER! Danger of being BURNED!

Wait –

They’re recalling the mug because the handle could come off when filled with hot liquids, which poses a burn hazard. The only thing I’ve ever enjoyed out of this mug (except for that one night I enjoyed hot chocolate and Bailey’s) is Diet Coke – lots and lots of Diet Coke. The likelihood of my filling this mug with hot liquid on any occasion is not at all strong, and now I know there’s a hazard, I’ll just use one of my many other mugs. Besides, I *like* this mug. I bought it specifically because I wanted something from the First Starbucks Evar. They’re giving people a full refund and offering a free drink as incentive to return them, but is that really worth the hassle of my going into a Vancouver Starbucks, explaining the recall to them, trying to get them to figure out how to refund me the US price of the mug, then getting a free drink I don’t really want (my last Starbucks experience was a little traumatic)? Having the mug itself is more of an enjoyment to me than my $11 back would be. $11 might buy you an ale, but it would not buy you any whores and what, then, is the point?

I’ve made up my mind – I’m keeping my mug (ooh yeah, I’m keeping my mug).