Monthly Archives: July 2008

techno leprechauns

Posted in everyday kimli by

Last night, there were fireworks.

We originally planned to scoot down to English Bay and watch the fireworks from the beach, but we’re down two scooters at the moment and really lethargic about it all. Josh had the brilliant idea to instead go up Cypress to watch the fireworks, so we did that. Unfortunately, so did everyone else. I’ve never seen so many people at the lookout, and the whole thing really felt like a picturesque tailgate party – there were pickup trucks and loud music and lawn chairs. It wasn’t too bad though, and we did get to see the fireworks. I took pictures. Clicky clicky.

Tonight, there will be cleaning. Ed’s parents arrive on Saturday, and while they’re not staying with us, they’ll still be seeing our place for the first time. I still really enjoy our apartment, and when it’s clean it’s pretty dang spectacular – but right now, that spectacular is hidden under several layers of crap. Tonight, we clean. I have excellent intentions.

We’re trying to record something in The Lab, so I brought in a lot of my casting equipment. I almost wished someone tried to cut me off on my way to work this morning – I had a giant mic stand balanced between my legs, and I really wanted to use it as a weapon. No one tried to kill me today though, so I didn’t get to go all Falling Down on the collective asses of society.

There’s always the ride home, though.

Everyone in my building is getting puppies but me.

world’s biggest pizza

Posted in everyday kimli, relationship drama by

Hey everyone, do you remember that particular Simpsons
episode where Homer’s mom, long since missing, returns to
ye old Springfield to reunite with the family via secret message?

Everyone I know is kind of ambivalent about that episode, but
do take into account that it has Glenn Close in it. Glenn Close!
I love her. She is not going to be ignored, Dan!

Anyway. I’ve been thinking about that episode a lot lately,
mostly because I am kind of hungry. Oversized novelty food
gets second billing, and I could really, really go for an
enormous taco or even a pizza the size of a football field.
To be honest, I don’t really care what kind of giant food is presented
to me; I would eat almost anything. Like cereal. We have free milk;
I think I’ll have myself a giant bowl of Special K. Nothing says
“nutritious” like freeze-dried strawberries!

Granted, the health benefits of the cereal is somewhat
altered when you eat 7 bowls of it in one serving.

Kimli is hungry. What else can I say?

I wonder if this is going to work.

Today I will spend my morning putting stickers on shelves.
Though sneaky methods, the Lab found out about my secret,
exciting past as an Inventory Control person, and they are placing
new duties on my plate. Do not want. Zzz.

cat bomb

Posted in everyday kimli by

There was a spider in my apartment this morning.

I’ve made great leaps and strides in dealing with my stark terror – ever since the Webcam War of ’03 (normally there would be a link here, but my archives are still broken), I’ve been able to grudgingly look at pictures of spiders without running screaming into the night. They still make me jump and shy away, but I no longer shriek and throw the book/monitor across the room, or make Ed cover the offending picture with Pokémon so I can continue reading the rest of the magazine.

See, progress.

The amazing progress I’ve made, however, does not translate into comfort around REAL spiders.

As I was getting ready for work this morning, I saw a spider on the floor. It was small by most standards, but still far too large for my own comfort – it was about the size of a dime, and it was dense. It wasn’t a wispy spider; it was big and dense and evil and black to a level I am not wholly comfortable with in regards to spiders.

I froze.

Then I called for backup.

Unfortunately, Ed had long since left for work and I was on my own. Undaunted by the lack of manly help forthcoming, I called out for the cats to come save me. The cats were unsympathetic and not rushing to my rescue, so I cast about for something else to save me.

Unable to tear my eyes away from the spider lest it attack while my attention was diverted, I reached out for the closest thing I could find that would double as a weapon. I grasped the first thing at hand and lofted it at the spider: a cat toy shaped like a sock. I would not die without a fight!

My aim was off. I steeled myself, and tried again; this time with a catnip-filled sheep. It, too, soared over the spider – but by mere millimeters. I let out a manly, capable squeal and made to run to safety should the spider charge towards me, but .. nothing.

The spider did not move.

Perhaps it was a stupid spider. Maybe it was stuffed full of evil spider testosterone and wouldn’t let something as silly as a scared girl end his mission of terror. Maybe it was trying to fake me out. Maybe it was a TRAP!

I know a little something about traps – I live next door to Admiral Ackbar. This was definitely a trap, and as soon as I let down my guard the spider would grow to the size of a horse and kill me with acid dripping from razor sharp fangs and stomp me to goo with eight hairy legs. Damn you, spider! Curse you all to hell!

Now I was pissed. You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and ask me to do murder for money, crawl on my floors, scare me into making a mess of the cat toy box? This is not justice!

I threw another toy at the spider. This time, my aim was true – I hit the evil thing right on its evil spider head. That’ll show it who’s the boss, and it ain’t Tony Danza.

Still the spider did not move.

Could it be that my nemesis was already dead? I still feared a trap, but I inched closer (in that I stood within 8 feet of it).

Nothing.

I decided to look at this from another angle. I went through the kitchen and came out on the other side of the spider – you can never be too careful – and looked at it again from afar.

Nothing.

I got closer. There was no sign of movement.

Hey, look! It’s Cheddar! She peeped out a greeting, and sat there looking cute. Sure, she wouldn’t come to my rescue in my hour of need, but now she wanted attention and love. Oh, I’ll give her love, alright. I pet the cat in all her favourite areas, squishing her belly and rubbing her ears.

Then I picked her up and tossed her at the spider.

It wasn’t so much of a toss as it was a drop – we were dangerously close to the inert beast, and I needed to find out once and for all if my enemy was truly dead. My proximity to the fiend paid off in spades – my Cheddar Grenade was a direct hit.

SQUISH

She landed on the spider, then chirped in delight and came running back for more. Past her happy waddle I could see what was left of my enemy – a crumpled spider, sad and forlorn (but still dripping with evil) and clearly dead. I gave Cheddar some extra love, and hastily got ready for work. Sure, the spider might LOOK dead, but it could still be a trap – best let Ed deal with it when he gets home.

I don’t like spiders.

sexy time science

Posted in nerd by

I tried to wear PVC to work.

I say “tried”, because I got outside and made every effort to climb atop Oscar, fully intent on riding into work and testing my theory that my PVC skirt is at least a little more water resistant than my jeans – but things didn’t exactly go as planned.

I had made one fatal mistake in my calculations: my PVC skirt is fetish ware, not rain ware. The skirt might have held up very well in the rain, except it’s made for sexy times – when I got on Oscar, I immediately realized that this adventure in science wouldn’t be so much an attempt to stay dry as it would be a chance to air out my vagina and give the city of Vancouver a gynecological thrill it wouldn’t soon forget.

It must have been an epic sight, and I forgive the City of North Vancouver employees for snickering at me as I tried to leave for work. It likely isn’t every day they see a short round girl trying to climb on a scooter wearing a PVC skirt cut to her upper thigh, looking perplexed as she tries to coax the material into providing some semblance of decency.

Needless to say, this experiment in sexy time rain gear crossover science was a big fat fail.

I wonder if I could scoot in a corset.

crank

Posted in everyday kimli by

I’m cranky for no reason. Most of it, I’m sure, has to do with the 6+ hours of QA I just did – not to mention the skull-and-crossbones-adorned sign I made this morning reminding me via post-it what is due this week and looming over my adorable head. I like my job, but today it is making me cranky.

Other things that could be contributing to my crank:

  • I’m wearing short pants and my ankles are cold
  • What’s for dinner tonight? Nothing? Awesome.
  • I want adventure. When is it my turn to have some adventure? I would like some fun now, please.
  • There’s a big ugly scratch right down the center of the right lens of my Usual Glasses. I broke out the Backup Glasses today, and things look funny.
  • Where the hell is that thing I ordered 3 weeks ago. Should I email them again? Packages make me less cranky, and I was really hoping it was going to come today.
  • I have a secret with a hilarious name that I can’t share yet
  • People don’t update often enough, damnit
  • Is it time to go home yet?
  • There are sites that are way more popular than mine and I absolutely do not see their appeal. What do I have to do to be popular? I want internet fame and notoriety too.
  • Sweet jesus, it IS time to go home!
  • Too bad I can’t, because there are still 5 post-its on my wall
  • Crap.

die qa die

Posted in science by

Quality Assurance tastes like blood.

I mean, it *could* be because I just bit my lip and it’s bleeding but I really do think that it’s the QA, and it tastes like blood.

I hate doing QA. I’m sure that being on the other end of QA isn’t any fun either, but manually wading through all this data makes my head hurt and look for distractions. For example, writing about how much I hate doing QA. No good.

I think I’ll just fail everyone.

That’ll show ‘em.

I am too busy to write any real content, so you should hate QA too.

Here are some pictures I took during the soccer innings.

epic win

Posted in nerd by

I went through my massive pile of DS games, and did some serious culling of the herd. Unbeknownst to me, EB is have a trade-in promo. End result: $171 in store credit for games that were sitting on my living room floor, collecting crud.

I win.

I win so hard.

:D

catching up to the rest of you

Posted in nerd by

Okay, so I finally watched all of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. It is awesome. I, too, want a PhD in horribleness.

Nerd Connection Alert: Long since have I loved Anthony Rapp as my Gay Broadway Boyfriend, but I officially name NPH as my second GBB – not only because everything he is in is just awesome, but also because he too played Mark in RENT. Two adorable singing boys in stripy scarves can only be better than one – soon my Army of Mark Cohens will .. uh .. sing and dance, but you will enjoy it. Yes, you will.

Well, this is quite the operation.

you wouldn’t like me when i’m batman

Posted in everyday kimli, nerd by

Last night a large cross section of our gang plus special guests went to see the Dark Knight at the Scotia Bank Theatre downtown. As an added bonus, my favourite Keeth was sitting two rows behind us and I got in some hugs. Yay!

The Dark Knight was the best movie I’ve seen all year. It’s also the only movie I’ve seen all year, so some of the glowing praise loses the shine when you realize the competition field is very, very small. I enjoyed it well enough – I think I liked the first one better not wholly due to my secret schoolgirl crush on Cillian Murphy – but it was nice being out in public with people, eating popcorn.

I might see another movie this year. I never did get around to seeing the first X-Files movie in a theatre – I think I saw it on a bus on my way back from Edmonton before I got a car. It’s been long enough now that I can forgive the boring mess the series turned into, and simply try to enjoy a visit with old friends. Also, I want to play Spot the Vancouver. I’ve also heard the movie is not part of the aliens-walk-among-us story arc that bored me to tears but instead fits into the Monster of the Week category, which were my personal favourite. So, yes. I believe I will see this movie in the theatre. By myself, if I have to. I am brave when sitting in my living room, wearing a fuzzy bathrobe.

While I managed to avoid the usual post-movie headache, I didn’t get much sleep last night thanks to what I can only assume is the pre-Pemberton party the idiots upstairs held. At 3:11am, our front door buzzer rang a bunch of times. It was, as it almost always is, friends of the idiots upstairs – not knowing which suite they’re in, they decided to buzz everybody and hope someone would just let them in. Big mistake. Not only did they wake up Steve At His Limit who went downstairs to rip them a well-deserved new asshole, they woke up almost everyone and caused Ed (who normally shrugs off the amazing inconsideration shown by the top floor) to open our door and call them assholes as they made their way upstairs. I hate the people upstairs. I hate their friends. I hate their parents for utterly failing to instil any sense of decency in their crotch droppings. A pox on the penthouse!

I am filled with an delicious sense of relief that I am not going to the Pemberton Festival. Every single thing about it sounds incredibly uncomfortable, from reports of 10,000+ people attempting to pick up wrist bands and being shut down by the fire marshals to stories of people trying to beat the rush by driving to the campsite last night and waiting 4-6 hours to park and get in. There’s the sheer cost of the ticket, too. Also, I hate camping. I know a lot of people are very excited about the entire thing and ten years ago I would have been right there with them, but now it just seems so .. icky.

Does this mean I am old?

I don’t think I am old.

I am just .. prissy.

pleasure

Posted in everyday kimli by

One of the greatest pleasures I have ever experienced in this lifetime was being able to say to Ed “I need to pee; hold my nut sack” and be in no way trying to make a funny.

Bliss.