The snow is freaking me out. There’s just so much of it! Don’t get me wrong – with every second breath I scream hallelujah that I’m not in Alberta – but that doesn’t mean I’m at all prepared for a winter wonderland full of disgusting slush in my shoes. Sure, the snow is pretty while it’s falling, but when the falling’s all done and it’s sitting around blocking the sidewalks and making life treacherous for those amongst us with balance issues, it’s kind of really ugly. Dirty snow is not pretty. There’s a reason people don’t paint modern winter landscapes.

I had a productive weekend, all weather aside. On Saturday, Shan and I picked Miranda up from Gastown and hit up the Blim Winter Market for additional crafty things, then completed Operation: Secret. Reilly came by to whisk Miranda away in his yellow chariot, so Shan and I completed the remainder of our errands and returned home. My game plan was to not go outside on Sunday at all for any reason, and I was mostly successful – Ed had to leave at one point for cat litter and milk, but the rest of the day was a frenzy of preparation.

My mom is coming over for Christmas. She’s visited us in Vancouver exactly once, while we were still in East Van. Her lack of travel is nothing new; I lived in Calgary for seven years and she never visited me once. We’re not close, my mom and I. Still, my family-related holiday guilt forced me to urge my mother to come visit us over the holiday, and after much bitching about it, she finally agreed.

She doesn’t arrive for three days, but she’s already being a pain in the ass. First, she won’t get here until almost 4pm on Christmas Day because she refused to travel after her 4 hour Christmas Eve shift at the bakery. That sort of negates the whole idea of her coming here, but whatever – we’ll have a nice dinner together and she can open some presents. She’s already started making demands – she needs green tea, and peach yogurt, and coffee (which poses a problem; we don’t drink coffee at all), and a bath robe and slippers because she doesn’t want to bring her own, and special milk, and .. gahhh. There’s still the matter of what the heck I’m going to DO with her for three days, too. She’s here until Sunday. I imagine we will be at each other’s throats by Friday evening. I’m planning on keeping a lot of beer on hand to keep Ed drunk; I do not envy him for having to spend the weekend dealing with his suddenly-14-year-old wife and her insane mother.

And to think I’m going to ask her if she wants a computer so she can start to use the internet.

Perhaps it is time I had myself committed.

doooooom!

slightly less doooooom!

The Duggar Family of Arkansas just welcomed their 18th child.

This image perfectly sums everything up:

The Cans for Comments have been delivered! I am more excited about getting the pile of food out of my apartment than I am about doing a good thing, but joy is joy and I’ll take it.

Last night I also delivered a large box of makeup and toiletries to the WISH Foundation, so hopefully those will be enjoyed by the ladies there!

I’m really quite jolly, actually. Things are super. Sasha seems to be feeling better. Work is going well (if I get over that whole “chain of command” thing). Things that would normally enrage me are but brief flare-ups of murderous intent before I settle back into my chilly winter calm.

For example, I *could* be upset that my three loonies bought me exactly 36 minutes of parking outside my office this morning and that I’ll probably get a parking ticket before I need to leave at noon – but why bother?

Or I could be angry that last night a man in a large pickup truck saw fit to lay on his horn and swear out his window at me because I didn’t want to put myself into oncoming traffic so he could get his Big Mac 20 seconds sooner – but what’s the point?

And there’s that guy who yelled at me and told me to “read the fucking sign next time” when I accidentally went to the wrong address last night when attempting to drop off the toiletries at WISH – I could be upset that the guy was such a fucking dickface over an innocent mistake, but … naaaah. Merry holidays, you nasty people! I am wishing you good tidings instead of giving you cancer with my mind!

That is my gift to the human race. I am such a prince.

Last night’s Big Meetup was good times. I hadn’t been to Ceili’s in Vancouver before (given that I am a hermit and all – we don’t do the bar scene often), but was pleasantly surprised at the tastiness of my burger. It was very crowded in there so I didn’t get to talk to people for long, but I am fairly confident I fulfilled my social quota for the evening. I even kept things classy, Kimli style, by Twitting about the contents of my bra (my iPhone and my lens cap) for the whole party to see (Twitter was displayed on multiple projectors). I simply ooze decorum and civility. I should probably see a doctor about that.

I should feel a lot more guilty about this picture than I do, but:

I just think it looks neat, is all.

The Big Giant Meetup at Ceili’s was pretty cool – lots of people. Hello, if I met you there. I was the short round girl in the cape.

I think I’ll go to bed now. I am freezing cold and have another big day ahead of me tomorrow.

Things that are not a good idea today:

• Driving 80km/h. I realize you may not be familiar with the stuff falling from the sky, but it’s very similar to rain except that it’s frozen and makes things slippery. Most people in this city use all-season tires or never change out of their summer tires, meaning their cars are enormous projectiles on slippery roads. Driving 80km/h – in a 50 zone, no less – is just stupid.
• Driving 20km/h. If you’re that afraid of the snow, stay home or take transit.
• Tailgating. I know I smell good, but your SUV on my rear bumper is making me extremely nervous. If I have to brake suddenly, you are going to ram me in uncomfortable places and I will not be happy about it – and frankly, neither will your insurance rates since you would be 700% at fault.
• Wearing a dress with bare legs
• Wearing a dress with bare legs, then getting into a car with vinyl seats
• Deciding that today was the day you were going to drop off things to the Food Bank and the WISH Foundation no matter what

At least I didn’t try to scoot in today!

The snow is kind of hilarious. I mean, I am not a fan of winter – I hate being wet, cold, and wearing coats – but it’s pretty while it’s falling, and the reactions of people who haven’t lived through real winters are very funny. I’ll be glad when spring rolls around, though.

Tonight I’m going to the Big Vancouver Blogger Meetup. I’m pathologically afraid of new people, but I should at least make an attempt especially since I came in 3rd for Best Personal Blog in Vancouver (for which most of these people were also nominated). Perhaps I should make a sign. Or .. bring a foam hand. Do they make oversized novelty foam hands for third place?

So after whining about my job yesterday I sucked it up and went to talk to my boss. Everything is good, I don’t have anything to worry about, and the only reason the VP hasn’t talked to me directly is because he’s been really busy with other projects I’m not involved in and no worries, my time is coming. It’s all good. I tend to panic very easily when it comes to potential work drama, whether it’s real or imagined. I’ve had such terrible luck with companies in the past that I’m extremely gun shy and paranoid – if someone looks at me funny in the hallway, I immediately think I’m about to be fired and not that they’re looking at me funny because I’m wearing horns in the office again.

Ridiculous weather aside, I am looking forward to being social tonight. How bizarre is that?

zzz