Hey, welcome to the worst day of my fucking life:

• Got to work, was immediately ambushed by a manager and told that the process I set up two weeks ago had been killed by Angry Guy (who had TWO WEEKS to do this before I stepped in because his lack of action was worrying my people sick)
• Pop machine is out of order
• Boss tells me he is asking every other manager for detailed feedback on my performance
• .. including the Angry Guy, who has already submitted his feedback and it isn’t very nice
• .. because it’s based on the ONE interaction I had with him, in which he screamed at me for two hours straight in front of 10 of my peers
• I sent a pre-emptive email to HR and my bosses, saying that I was not comfortable or interested in hearing what he had to say, because he basically has no right to pass judgment on me based on our one disastrous session
• Weekend fun is threatened by dark noisy forces
• HR and boss tell me to calm down and the feedback is meant to be constructive, not nasty
• I have a huge, huge problem taking criticism – anything less than a glowing review will bring me to tears (thanks mom)
• Boss sends me collective managerial feedback; it’s as bad as I expected – I talk too fast, I’m too rushed, I’m not sensitive enough to the needs of my trainees, people are fucking idiots who are afraid of technology, I’m too slow, I’m too fast, I smell like cheese
• Meeting with various people is a frustrating exercise in attempting to rebuild the planet; my own suggestions are repeatedly interrupted by someone trying to keep me from freaking out (which I wasn’t about to do, I just fucking hate being interrupted)

And the very, very best news of all:

• Financing for our place has been denied by the bank for exactly the reasons I outlined earlier: an $1100 lien that has been provisioned for, and a fully documented (with an engineer’s report) explanation of the work that was done and why

I fucking give up on this entire week.

Oh, and I’m crying my eyes out at my desk for all the above reasons and more, and I get pulled into a meeting with my boss and the VP and my goddamn mascara isn’t waterproof so I’m discussing how to configure JIRA with tears running down my face.

Whee!

The inspection passed with flying colours. Inspector Rick was awesome; he spent a goodly amount of time explaining things to us and pointing out things we should have looked at (one baseboard heater doesn’t work, there’s a tiny crack in a shower tile, the gas fireplace needs servicing). That’s a huge relief, and one thing checked off our list. Yay! We are cleared for landing! There are some things with the building that will come up in the next five years – the garage needs to be epoxy’d and the plumbing will need an assessment – but everything else is sound and great. He was particularly impressed with the amount of storage our suite, which we got a nice long look at – SO MUCH STORAGE! I’m also particularly stoked about the TWO CLOSETS in the bedroom – I get my own and Ed gets his and my delicates will never have to touch his stinky man clothes!

There’s just one last thing keeping us from full-on celebration: the mortgage financing. Even if the bank says no due to the partial rainscreening (look at me, talking like I have any idea what that means), MJ Realtor to the Stars has more than enough paperwork to back things up. I’m not particularly worried even if they DO say no, because the information we have should be good enough – but I do so love to worry. We should know soon, and if everything works out, conditions will be lifted on Saturday afternoon and we will spend Saturday evening getting drunk on a beach (the last time we will be able to afford such luxuries).

Then again, if things DON’T work out, we will spend Saturday evening getting drunk on a beach – but in sorrow, not celebration. Alcohol will be present. This is foretold.

We’re going to Tofino tomorrow afternoon with a full compliment of Peeps: M&R, J&S, Darren, and special guest Amanda. We were unable to go on last year’s trip because of Ed’s month-long insurance course, so this’ll be our first time – Ed’s never been to Tofino and I’ve only been once, a very long time ago. I’m excited for the trip! I better be, because it’s the last time I’m going anywhere for 30 years or so.

a close up of a very bad idea