Great. I’m left to my own devices for 4 measly hours, and I managed to find a ghost cafe and eat haunted – likely poisonous – fish and chips. I couldn’t just go for the burger – no, I had to be adventurous and get the 7-Year Fish special, served with undead fries and Diet Coke of Lies. Not even the ketchup was safe: “Fancy Ketchup” appears to be American code for “tastes like red ass oh god get this out of my mouth I want my mommy”.

Ed and I parted company around noon because he wanted to watch men play Dungeons and Dragons and I .. did not. I sat on my rear for a bit, playing on my DS (don’t tell my iPhone) and stalking MC Frontalot, which i did successfully. I saw Scott Kurtz and Wil Wheaton, but am faaaaaar too cool to stand in line for autographs so I had dirty nerd thoughts from afar and went on my way. After my aforementioned haunted lunch, I spent some money and played my games and tried to count the nerds gawking at my tits. There weren’t many, and I don’t really blame them – sure, my rack is mighty, but dude there’s Portal 2 and Fallout: New Vegas and Little Big Planet 2 and and and. My boobs can’t compete with that, and I’m silly to have tried (but i sure am comfortable).

So, haunted lunch. I was famished and without an emergency pocket sandwich, so I stumbled upon a cafe with a relatively small line in a place where I swear no cafe was earlier. Still, I ignored the warning signs because i was too excited to see that the cafe had Diet Coke for not all my money – I waited in line and ordered.

My second clue that something was wrong came from the instantaneous fish n’ chips they gave me. See, everyone else had to wait 5 or 10 minutes for their food but mine was ready before I walked two feet to the condiment area. It seems my fish was destined for me, but had been awaiting my arrival in the deep fryer for 7 years – it was very overcooked and sad. I was too hungry to argue though, so I loaded myself up with tartar sauce (the scary kind that doesn’t require refrigeration) and horrible ketchup and crossed the huge empty room to sit on the floor. I settled in against a soft wall, tucked into my expensive and questionable convention lunch, and relaxed.

Until i looked up and saw nothing across the room.

No line of people. No cafe. No tables filled with lunching nerds. There was NOTHING across from me; nothing where, a few short minutes ago, I had stood in line with a few others to collect the goods I was presently chewing on.

Obviously, everything is haunted. My otherworldly theory only solidified when the contents of my stomach did the exact opposite a short time later. Man, all I want is one good uncursed meal. Is that so much to ask?

This year, I’m armed with anti-bacterial hand goo. I hate both goo and anti-bacterial things, but I hate being sick even more. It strengthens my resolve that every time Ed goes to the bathroom, he regales me with stories about large hulking nerds who aren’t washing their hands on the way out. Ewwwww.

Day One was short but fun. We opted to return to suburbia a little early so we could take turns going to a movie -Ali and I went to the early showing of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (what? She hadn’t seen it, and this was only my third time) while the boys babysat; then we met in the parking lot to trade vehicles and children so the menfolk could go to the late showing. Hooray for figuring things out so everyone gets to have fun!

It is early and we are off to PAX again. Sadly, it is not quite early enough – I do not know if we’ll be able to get tickets for tonight’s nerd rock show. I will be sad, but I am old and shouldn’t be out past 9pm anyway what with my oldness and all.

Today is all about boobs and comfort.

To the nerd emporium!