- Pictures taken: 2428
- Tube stations visited: 22
- Times we went the wrong way on the tube: 0
- Times we looked the wrong way on the street: all of them
- Swarthy Italian men hitting on me in Harrods: 1
- Pub visits: 5
- Bottles of still water with a splash of fruit enjoyed: 15 or so (that stuff is awesome)
- Viral infections: 2
- Dirty looks my boobs got: 17
- Salacious looks my boobs got: 9
- Orders of chips eaten: 8
- Bags purchased (don’t look at this Ed): 4
- Times Cleo drew blood: 3
- 5am taxi rides: 2 (goddamn many)
- Swearing at Google Maps for showing the British Museum as being at the location of the British Library: 59
- Offers of cuddling on planes: 1
- Pity meals served in pubs: 2
- “The End is Nigh” signs seen: 1
- How much we loved London: 7 million
- Foxes seen: 1 (they’re like British raccoons!)
- Pairs of tights I purchased in the end: 9
- How much I disliked the small horrible child sitting in front of me on the plane ride home: 40
- Men in Paris riding a 50cc scooter with a cigarette hanging out: 1
- Stereotypical snooty French waiters: 1
- Times peed on the top of the Eiffel Tower: 3
- Mega souvenirs bought: 1
- Old women I nearly pushed over on the ET because I had Metrotown Rage: 3
- Che Guevara posters for sale on the Seine: 6
- Times accosted in the Paris train station by annoying young women shoving petitions in our faces: 28 (they were fucking everywhere)
Good times.
Back to regular content tomorrow!
BONG BONG BONG
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