I am going to shank one of our designers.
I am not 100% certain what all is involved with a shanking, but I will endeavour to do some research and shank until all my rage has subsided. I am currently taut with fury and astounded that this person keeps getting work. Nevertheless, I am confident that a good hard shanking by my tiny, tiny hand will dispel her grievously erroneous notion that I am her girl-servant and perhaps even banish her to places that are not in my immediate reach.
Also, I have jaundice on the middle finger of my right hand. That glint of yellow you see is me giving people the finger; the traditional precursor to shanking.
I can’t stop reading news sites. For the first time in a very long time, I have a wee bit of hope that the entire world isn’t going to implode in an orgy of evil before the end of the year. I mean, it probably still will, but at least in several US states people apparently woke up and realized that what women do to their bodies is their own business, other people’s gay marriages won’t kill them, and perhaps stem-cell research isn’t the first step towards harvesting our bodies for energy ala the Matrix because although Keanu Reeves is nice to look at I wouldn’t want to entrust him with saving me from mental slavery either. Also, one down: two to go.
Perhaps I did open this door after all.
delicious juice dot com 
I can’t stop watching the news today! I’m doing a little happy dancing with the kiddos today. Okay, it’s actually a lot of happy dancing.
I’ve been reading about the office politics myself lately, and apparently the best way to deal with somebody like that is to simply not do whatever she “assigns” you to do. If she asks about it, like “I told you to do that!” say “Did you? I remember we talked about it and I gave you some advice about how to proceed… no luck?” The internerds tell me that this should work, although at this point it’s only a theory.
Here’s the kicker ‘nee – she doesn’t actually work here! That’s why she needs a shanking!
See if you can lay hands on a copy of Freeway, which features a very young Reese Witherspoon as an over-the-top juvenile delinquent. It has a scene which shows exactly how to make a shank out of a toothbrush and some saran wrap. :D It’s also freakin’ hilarious, pure camp. Kiefer Sutherland is the bad guy. I totally recommend it.
I don’t quite know what a shanking is either, but I do know you perform it with a shiv. Which is a metal spoon that’s been sharpened into a weapon on a jailhouse bunk. So, use your imagination.
Wikipedia has a whole entry on shivs, and shanking. All the information your heart could possibly desire.
Screw diplomacy. SHANK THE BITCH.