It’s December! In the spirit of giving, I will send you a fabulous present!
There is a catch, of course:
You have between now and the end of the weekend – 11:59pm Sunday night – to guess how I gave myself a chemical burn on my left nipple. The answer closest to being right will get a Delicious Juice Dot Prize!
Contest rules: all guesses must be posted in the comments below. Contest open to everybody, since my nipple deserves to be thought about globally. Winner (and backstory) will be posted on Monday, December 4th. Have fun, and don’t keep it clean at all because seriously, what fun would that be?
Yes, this is the same nipple that I burned on the oven. No, that’s not what happened this time.
Also, OW.
delicious juice dot com 
Did you accidentally Nair your boobies? Silly girl.
You were dying your hair naked and it dripped on said nipple!
You were having sex with an alien from another planet… and this species has acid-salivia!
Dirty girl. I’m telling your husband.
cleaning the toilet doggystyle
This question would be a lot easier with photos.
Did you use bleach to clean something off your breast? That’s my guess. Maybe it wasn’t your breast but something close. Bleach or some sort of cleaning product :D
Oooh – you took your hippie tye-dying-dom to new levels and decided to make soap! Like any good hippie you were making soap naked and unfortunately spilled some lye on your boob when a cat and/or Ed ran by and knocked you off your balance. Clearly that has to be it!
I have to agree with Ali, and would suggest that there are two better ways to remove distracting nipple hair:
1) if you must use boring methods, try Magic Powder depilatory instead of Nair; you’ll find it at Wal-Mart in the Black hair care products area.
2) Have a friend use it as dental floss. I can guarantee this works.
Going on another suggestion, try each method, 1 for left, 2 for right, post photos.
Hah hah! Winter in Vancouver! Merely damn cold here.
cold Ken in Calgary
You dripped hot cocoa, tea, coffee, or insert other hot drink upon said breast?
Darn it, I was going to guess hair dye! >:E
I’m going with naked kitchen cleaning!
I’m thinking that guy of yours was giving you a massage, and grabbed the wrong bottle of liquid!
Ouch is right… Hope he kissed it better!
Ok, with the cold weather and all, the car wouldn’t start and while under the hood checking to see what the matter was, you had to reach to the back of the engine, thereby leaning over the battery and smearing some battery goo from one of the terminals on your shirt. You didn’t realize until too late, when the acid had eaten a hole through said shirt, bra and almost! nipple. The end.