Dear lady in the gold lamé velour track suit: nothing you do, including shouting “WE DON’T WANT TO STAND OUT” at the top of your lungs, will keep you and that outfit from sticking out like a sore thumb. A shiny, gold lamé velour gold thumb. Just sayin’.

Day One of the CES went well. The first day is always the hardest; it takes a day or so for the energy to kick in and I’m hoping today is the day I am dazzling instead of merely okay. I am wearing tulle and sequins, though, so that should help my cause a lot.

Our bus driver got lost this morning, and we ended up taking a mini tour of Las Vegas, which apparently consists of more than just the Strip. Who knew!

Swag hunters are rude. Dear sir, please do not poke me hard in the shoulder when I am sitting on the floor in a roped off area, hunched over a laptop and trying desperately to eat some lunch before I pass out and demand that I hand you a t-shirt or a keychain or whatever it is I might have piled up in the boxes that I am leaning upon for support. Piss off. Go earn your shit by standing in line like everyone else, and also don’t ever touch me or I will go all Internet Superstar on your ass. Oh yes, I will. I am fierce.

Grrrrawr. See?