I honestly thought I knew what sexy was. I mean, I was so confident that I had an excellent grasp on what was and was not sexy that I frequently brought forth my own notions of sexy; ideas that were completely independent of what society and “The Man” force down our throats on a daily basis. I am an individual; a unique snowflake with thoughts and ideas and notions all of my own and not delivered to me monthly in glossy magazines crammed full of airbrushed lies.

Of course, I don’t know squat.

Yesterday I received a lesson in sexy delivered by, of all people, UPS – my very own Samsung Q1B Ultra Mobile Tablet PC thingie, featuring the VIA C7-M processor. I spent a large part of my day and night playing with it – setting it up (it runs Windows XP), trying out programs, playing with the screen (it ROTATES), and generally just being in awe of it. It is, hands down, the sexiest thing I own. It’s completely wireless, has two USB ports, a 40 GB hard drive, a touch screen, and a thousand other things I haven’t even begun to discover yet. It has an on-screen keyboard, but also accepts handwriting done with the stylus which it can then translate into text characters. I can quite literally go anywhere with this thing and write updates or check email or even draw dirty pictures of Ed in various delicate situations of extreme nudity. I can watch movies! I rarely do, but I’m totally tempted to start now! It has sound and video and weighs like 2 pounds and HOLY CRAP IT’S THE SEXIEST THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD AND I LOVE IT

I know I sound like a dork, but seriously you have no idea how much I love gadgetry and this is super cool and unique and brand new so I am ultra leet as well as ultra mobile. The only downside is having to keep my eye on it at all times so Josh doesn’t steal it from me. He’s already tried twice.

So. Fucking. Sexy.

YAY!