Last week I got bored, and decided to put some colour in my hair. I tend to make most drastic decisions about my appearance when I’m bored – so far, boredom has led to numerous tattoos, several piercings, and many hair colours not found in nature. Sometimes these changes work out very well. Other times .. not so much.

I got a Do-It-Yourself streaking kit that promised to give me sexy highlights wherever I want them – framing my face to brighten things up; peaking through layers for a subtle change; spelling dirty words on the back of my head to piss off people taller than I am. I took a cursory glance at the instructions, but decided to forge my own path because they are not the boss of me and I do what I want, not what some company decides is the best way to use their product. Oh yes. I am hardcore.

I prepared the goopy solution and set about combing streaks onto my head. I envisioned a new me; a vision of sophistication and beauty that would open doors and leave drooling, stunned masses in my wake. It was going to be totally awesome.

Of course, things rarely work out the way I think they should. Instead of lovely highlights and a dazzling new head of confidence, it looks like I spent the better part of a week wearing an open can of root beer as a hat. Complicating matters are my inch-long white roots that were avoided because the instructions (okay, I followed SOME of them) were full of dire warnings about avoiding roots while streaking (good advice at all times, really) – my head is five or six different colours, none of which are particularly flattering or suited for the look I’m going for, which is “not a skunk”. I’m a mess. I need a haircut, too. I would really suggest you avoid looking at me if at all possible, because I am quite offensive to the senses.

It is Friday. The weekend holds fewer plans than usual, which is nice. One of the things we’ll be doing is Experimenting – we’re going to take Bjorn Jr. (my tablet PC, named after the person who gave it to me) around town and see how many different ways we can use it to freak out the squares. Portable internet! The future is totally awesome!