There’s a guy in the Space Station who has well-documented “inside voice” issues. When we were planning the office move, every single person brought up his voice as a potential problem – not only does he talk ALL. THE. TIME., he has a very loud voice. Not one person wanted to sit near him because it’s very difficult to get any work done when he is rambling at you about various things. We came up with a floor plan that placed his department in an area away from those who are on the phone a lot, and outside the offices of people who work outside the Space Station more often than they do inside.

Naturally, the Space Board decided to fuck all the plans that had been made, and put him right next to my department and handily away from their offices. This has made things difficult, to say the least. For starters, he sits right next to me, and he is loud. He talks NON-STOP. And best of all? The absolutely bestest thing ever?

He reads out loud.

So, when he’s not talking to me – or someone, anyone made eye contact – or on the phone – he is reading the internet, and WHISPERING WHAT HE IS READING. It is INFURIATING. When I first heard it, I thought he was whispering to someone – then I came to realize that no one is there, and he is whispering to himself. Sometimes it’s just low enough to hear that someone is talking but not what is said; other times I get to loudly and clearly hear what he is reading on the internet. My favourite is when something is not working on his computer, and he starts to whisper-swear. I love it, so hard. The other day I wore a pair of headphones over top of my noise-canceling earphones to try and block him out, and guess what – I could still hear him. I absolutely adore how the needs of the Space Board who are not here all the time outweigh the needs of the people who work here every single day.

Everything is making me cranky today – people’s voices, our lack of money, my raging uteral cramps, the whole non-real job thing. I want to take a few days off next month to help my mom and maybe go on a short road trip – but every day I take off equals no money. I am so fucking sick of not having vacation time.

I want a puppy.

I just emailed the Space Board asking if I can have some days off with pay, as I’ve been here for over 15 months. I also dropped the “according to the government, we should be receiving a minimum two weeks of vacation per year, or 4% vacation pay in lieu of time off” bomb, so we’ll see how this goes over. Put on your life jackets, people – Kimli is once again rocking the boat!

Where’s my puppy?

My birthday is in ten days. A puppy would be an excellent gift.