Did I ever tell you about that time I had a motherfucking BUG in my EYE?
After leaving the meteor shower on Sunday night, something flew into my face. I stopped to brush it away, but my left eye immediately started watering like something was in it. Things were definitely not feeling right in there, so I blinked the obstruction away until it stopped feeling weird. Paranoid, I checked out my eye with a mirror. One eyeball, one iris, several eyelashes – all was good. I figured I had poked myself in the eye while trying to shoo the insect away, as I tend to do that a lot.
Fast forward to last night around 7:30. We were walking towards a restaurant when my eye started to feel REALLY funky, like someone parked a truck on it. I whipped out my handy mirror, peered into it, and .. what the hell was that on my eye? Oh, it’s nothing major – just a FLY in my EYE. The bug that I thought I brushed away last night actually got CAUGHT IN MY EYEBALL and spent almost 24 HOURS TRAPPED BEHIND MY EYE until it made its way out again.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! A BUG! IN MY EYE!!!!!
I am more than a little convinced that the bug spent its time in my eye socket laying eggs, and things are going to eat their way out of my skull via my left eye.
Oh god, I think I just made myself sick.
HELP!!!!
delicious juice dot com 
EWWWWWWWWWWWW! OMG, you’re giving ME nightmares! That’s right up there with my earwig phobia, caused in part by some demented Star Trek movie (Wrath of Khan?) that I saw many years ago… noooo!
That is, seriously, the grossest thing I’ve ever heard! :-O
OMG eww eww ewwww!! Thanks to you I now have the squiggly wigglies thinking about a bug LIVING IN MY EYE!! GAH!
My maternal grandfather (RIP) used to place a whole, raw flax seed on his eye. The fibres of the seed would wend their way around his eye – the whole thing – and come out in a tear the next day. His eyes were always so clear! WTF? No, I am not kidding. Then again, he grew up as a surveyor for the CPR in northern Ontario. One day he brought me a big bag of wood, knawed by beavers felling a tree. Cool shit.