For a fifth year in a row, Vancouver was voted the world’s most livable city by the Economist. Woo! Suck it, Trebek!

I am Not Wanted, and I’m torn between being amused and .. well, mostly just amused by it all. My former co-astronauts are scrambling to come up with reasons to keep me out of the Space Station; removing my access to tools, clients, and email and telling me I’m basically not needed for anything at all. Then there was the company BBQ last week that I wasn’t invited to – that one was cool. I accidentally got the reminder, but the original invitation never materialized – and when I tried to get more information, no one was available to answer my questions. It’s hard not to fall back on the conspiracy theory when faced with stuff like this. You’d think I was wearing a hat made of dog poop, or something.

I’m enjoying my time away from the rest of humanity, but perhaps it’s time I stepped the job hunt. The rug I’m standing on feels very wobbly for some reason, and when I peer off into the darkness I see an awful lot of people eagerly clutching at the edge just waiting to give it a great big yank.

So, scooters. There are 6 of us. We’re officially a gang now, and given my tendency to name things and also look for excuses to buy another custom-branded messenger bag, I am trying to get the peeps enthused about a name. No one is biting, though. Maybe it’s just my work-related paranoia talking, but sometimes I think my friends put up with my many, many eccentricities because everyone needs an ugly friend and I usually have gum.

Some possible gang names that have been bandied about include:

• Urban Crawl
• Hipsters on Wheels
• Scooter Shooters
• Burrard Inlet Scooter Patrol
• and my favourite by far: Hex Angels

No one is keen on being called an angel except myself, but it works on so many levels! First of all, it’s a play on “Heck’s Angels”, which is of course the scooter-core version of the Hell’s Angels. Then, we’re all nerds and often work in hex. Hex is also Greek for six, and there are six of us. Lastly, Shan and I are fluent in the Witch-Fu and we could totally put a hex on you and turn you into frogs. See? It TOTALLY WORKS on MANY LEVELS. If only people loved plays on words and naming things as much as I do!

one of them said what do you want more than anything in this whole wide world
do you want money
do you want sex
or do you want all that success
i thought about that myself