Today I feel slightly more human. Last night I had some exciting new ailments to enjoy along with my Verts and my Quease – a massive allergy attack and an onslaught of light sensitivity. I eventually gave up on trying to be alive and took some Benedryl so I didn’t break out into hives overnight, and that seemed to do the trick. It forced me to sleep for almost 10 hours, and I woke up feeling groggy but more human (than human) than I had in over a week. Hooray!

However, the doctor’s office just called and said my test results are in and that I need to come into the clinic as soon as possible to discuss the results. I am so totally dying, aren’t I. On a hunch they ran my blood for other diseases because they knew getting more blood out of me later wasn’t going to happen unless they had a hatchet, and lo I have 17 strains of Super AIDS and also some traces of lycanthropy. My dizzy spells and nausea aren’t withdrawal; they’re an early sign of blood lust. Shit! Everyone run away!

The mailman brought me presents today, which make me very happy. I got my Sephora order – nothing cheers me up like new expensive makeup – and the shiny trinkets I ordered from Retro-a-Go-Go late last month. These things are awesome and can now be scratched off my Waiting list, but there was one other thing the mailman brought me that is just beyond super:

The letter is from the Royal Thai Consulate General, and is obviously not for me. I can’t imagine the contents are anything interesting so I won’t go out of my way to commit mail fraud and see what’s inside – but holy crap, that has got to be the best last name I have ever seen. SUPAPORN! It just rolls off the tongue and splashes across the face, doesn’t it?

I suppose I should stop stalling and go see the doctor so she can tell me I’m dying of werewolf herpes.