My email is several shades of broken, so instead of stressing about it I will instead flesh out my paltry morning post.
I have a job! I received the call yesterday morning, and the offer letter that afternoon. It’s a real job with a real company, with a real probation period then real benefits and real vacation time and (I’m hoping) real co-workers. Whee!
They moved very fast – it was the position I interviewed for last Monday, and by that Thursday they had samples of my work, a list of references, and had called me to tell me I was their #1 candidate (this is the good news I never fully explained last week, by the way) and that they would let me know either way by the 28th. Well, my references apparently checked out (that was good money well spent on my part) and they offered me the job. I start next Monday, and I’ll be working in downtown Vancouver for the first time. I’ve already staked out the closest source of Diet Coke and ice, so I’m good to go.
Now I’m nervous. The HR lady told me they really liked me and that I was the youngest candidate but also had the most experience (what can I say; I get around). They were impressed and not scared off by my nerdy hobbies of video games and scooters, and – best of all – they took a document I wrote entitled “UAC Airlock Safety Procedures” as a sample of my work and STILL hired me after reading it. Clearly, this is a company that knows I am insane and yet they still want me. This can only be good.
I am excited!
Now, here’s the number one question: what secret code should I refer to my new job as? Astronaut is played out; I need something fresh and new and wacky. Ideas?
delicious juice dot com 
YAY
You’re a… sherpa! Scaling new heights! Guiding the unwary to their deaths! Helping Sir Edmund Hillary ascend the great peaks of success!
Ok, seriously, I got nothing.
(although if you do decide to be a sherpa there are lots of breast jokes that can be worked into it, what with peaks being scaled and whatnot)
Congrats! Is it doing the stuff you were looking for a job in?
Welcome to the world of paid vacation and 80% coverage drug plans.
:-)
Zoo Keeper
Librarian
Covert Operative
Supermodel
Circus Performer
Linguist
Potato Farmer
*shrug*
Maybe pastry chef? There’re all sorts of double entendres you can make use of.
By the way, did you ever get that water gun? And the bras?
Samurai.
Ninja.
Sailor (or captain!).
Howzabout cowgirl? Or cowhand…
You could have the trail boss and the rancher and the cows and… the cookie!
Yay!!! Congrats on the job!!! That’s great news!
My vote is for Sherpa… that’s hilarious! Scaling new heights… ;)
I like underwater welder myself…or piano tuner.
First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!! Let the diet coke flow like… stuff that flows a lot. I vote for professional tap dancer, or Madame of the night! Though sherpa is a good one as well. Oh the possibilities are endless!!
Congrats, Kimli! My vote goes to either sherpa or ninja.
Underwater basket weaver?
Congrats, chick. I knew it was just a matter of time.
Hooray for jobs!
Oh! Secret Agent/Superspy! Covert Op, like Ali said.
Congratulations, Kimli – I’m so happy for you.
-Jenonymous
yay kimli! to keep in with the cowgirl theme, i kind of like ‘barrel racer”
Congratulations! I’m rather fond of bee-keeping, myself.
Congratulations!
I think you should be a Spork tester, but that may just be because I’ll take any opportunity to say/type the word spork!
Ooh, or maybe a snipe huntress!
Awesome sauce. Congratulations!
YAY! :D
My vote is pirate. Or something to do with zombies.
YAY YOU!
OOH, I like the way you think, Ali!
I vote for Supermodel/Cunning Linguist! :D
… that moonlights as a Zoo Keeper?
YAY. Mental images running amok here.
Congrats!
I’m thinking this next will be your secret agent career… Agent Orange, perhaps?
Congratulations!
re: Job Title:
You’ve got some awesome suggestions up there. I’m really digging “piano tuner.”
Sherpa! YAY! BEYOND delighted for you, Kimli!
Okay, I think you should call your workplace the rodeo, and you can be a rodeo clown. If it weren’t for you, all the bull riders would get shredded. And there can be calf ropers and barrel riders, etc.
Being a zookeeper also has a certain amount of appeal. Because some days, there is the shit. But some days, you get to party with the monkeys.
Offshore Oil Worker.
Congrats!
I vote Sailor!
Lots of metaphors and analogies at your disposal: Any number of ranks to describe coworkers; weather analogies for the office mood (smooth sailing, rough seas, the terror of storms, the boredom of oceanic crossings), etc. etc.