*ring*

Huh?

“Good morning, Angel!”

What?

“I SAID, Good morning, Angel!”

Why is that white speaker box on my desk talking to me? As a matter of fact, why is there a white speaker box on my desk?

“KIMLI! You know how this goes – when I say ‘good morning, angel’ you are supposed to respond with ‘good morning, Charlie!’ Don’t you remember your training? Now, say it!”

“Good .. good morning, Charlie?”

“That’s better. Are you ready for your assignment?”

“WHAT assignment? What the hell is going on?”

“You forgot, didn’t you. You signed up to be a Reserve Angel, and it’s time – I’m calling you up. You can’t back out; I have papers. SIGNED papers. We’re like the Marines, on rollerskates.”

“Okay, okay, I remember. Reserve Angel, gotcha. I .. I thought it was just a joke, though. You don’t REALLY send women out on ‘secret missions’, do you?”

“Does this white speaker box look like a joke to you?”

“Well, actually ..”

“Don’t answer that. This is very real, Kimli. You are a Reserve Angel, part of my elite team of highly trained sexy agents, and as such, I need you for an investigation.”

“Really? I’m a little surprised .. why me? I don’t exactly fit in with the rest of your ‘sexy angels’. Why not get one of them to help you?”

“.. I didn’t want to have to say this, but frankly .. you’re the only Angel dumpy enough for this particular mission.”

“Ouch.”

“Well, you asked. I need someone who can blend into a crowd and not be noticed, and for this mission, dumpy is good.”

“Fine, I’m dumpy. What’s the mission?”

“We’ve had reports of a potato farm in Idaho that has a curious name among the locals: The Sex Cauldron. I want you three to investigate this ‘potato farm’ and find out what really goes on there when the sun goes down.”

“You three? Who else is coming?”

“I’ve teamed you up with two of our more experienced and sexy Angels – McKenzie is a photographer who has been asked to take some shots of the farm for a book on rural farms in the Midwest, and Jacqueline is her business manager. You’ll be going along as McKenzie’s assistant – and from here on in, your name is Fran.”

“Fran? Hot.”

“You’re not supposed to BE hot. If this ‘Sex Cauldron’ thing is true, we want you to be able to blend in with the crowd – and let’s face it, any sex club in the middle of the bible belt isn’t going to be packed with people who look like McKenzie and Jacqueline. You’re our star, Fran. Go out there and carry cameras and find out why this potato farm is known as The Sex Cauldron!”

“You got it, Charlie. Over and out.”

.. see you tomorrow.