Watch your fire! You don’t want to have any fire; make sure you don’t put things over your fire!

You can’t do contract work forever – you’re not getting any younger, you know.

There are so many gang killings in Vancouver! Stay away from gangs, Keem – you’re not in a gang, are you?

You’re driving to Edmonton? Go slow! It doesn’t matter if it takes you 4 days to get there, just tell them you drove slow to be safe! (note: Vancouver to Edmonton is a 12-hour drive)

My back is really bad these days but I won’t go to the chiropractor because the old biddy (the receptionist) there is a stupid bitch. Maybe I will go back there and see the doctor and tell him that the old biddy is a stupid bitch.

Oh, the endless source of confusion and amusement. Happy mother’s day, mom. I’ll pee in a bucket tonight and think of you.

Wait, that’s gross.

Oh well.