all day i dream about sex

I never wore Adidas shoes when I was a wee Kimli, but last weekend I found a pair that was green and orange and 73% off. They’re terribly comfortable and very cute, and as far as my 1987 self is concerned, I am incredibly cool.

Yesterday’s massive power outage in downtown Vancouver came within a ¼ block of The Lab, so we weren’t affected at all. I suppose this is a good thing, but on the other hand, BOO! I could have used the time off to, oh I don’t know, finally go to the doctor and have my lady parts examined so I can go back on the pill (that’s how stubborn I am, folks – I so badly do not want to open my legs for a random stranger that I’ve gone off the pill in protest) or maybe see a podiatrist to deal with the fact that I can’t sleep at night because my left foot/leg hurts so badly. You know, important things. Things I certainly don’t want to do on MY time. Pay me to maintain my health, damnit!

Speaking of random urine, I am SO SICK of looking out my window at home and seeing strangers pissing in the bushes across the street. It’s happened three times in the last two weeks, and it’s fucking disgusting. Guys, what is it about being male that compels you to whip out your dingus and whiz all over whatever’s handy when the urge strikes? Is this something all guys do? If so, why are they doing it across from MY window? I’m particularly disgusted by this because the bushes across the street happen to be blackberry bushes, and people (including us) enjoy picking the berries when they’re in season. I don’t know that I’ll be able to do that this year, knowing that the berries are very likely covered in skanky man piss. Fuck you, random pissers! I’d put up a sign asking you to not urinate in public, but I’m afraid you would just piss on that too.

Just .. eww.

One thought on “all day i dream about sex

  1. All guys pee outside. Maybe it goes back to an ancient need to mark our territory but nothing is more satisfying then really having to take a leak and dousing some poor random Peony.

    Homeless men probably pee outside more than the house endowed as they spent proportionately more time in the outdoors.

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