please hammer totally hurt ’em

If ever there was a time when parachute pants and gold lamé were the lesser of two evils, it would be now. For some, Hammer Time is a nostalgic look back at things you can or cannot touch, coupled with a healthy dose of early 90’s (and I mean early – the song was released 01/13/90) whimsy. In this case, however, Hammer Time has unfortunately little to do with touring ‘round the world from London to the Bay – rather, it means I would like you to pick up a hammer and hit me with it. Hard.

I don’t suggest you try this at home, but if someone would like to kindly get a hammer – a large one would be best; perhaps even a mallet – and violently but lovingly break my left foot, I would be ever so grateful and would not press charges or anything.

As strange as it may seem, this is an ongoing quest of mine. When the pain of my deformed feet get to be so much that I have little anxiety attacks on a daily basis, I often daydream of something “accidentally” breaking my foot so badly it would require surgery – and while they’re in there, they might as well realign the nice new bone-replacing titanium rods so it doesn’t hurt when I walk or dance or stand or breathe.

Shan and I went to the Thriller dance rehearsal on Saturday, and then joined the rest of the gang (minus Ed [isn’t a camera person] and Gillian [out of town]) for a Toy Camera photo walk. Everything was fun and super and good, but by that evening, I was in some serious pain. By the time we got home, I could barely walk. The pain subsided a little for Sunday, but I was still in enough discomfort Sunday evening that I had to take some sort of pill to get to sleep – and then woke up every hour or so for my efforts. Even today, my left foot is cranky and pissed off at the world, having not asked to be born. I am at My Limit over this, which is usually when I start fantasizing about hammers and Thor and Bob the Builder.

The Thriller Dance is this coming Saturday at 11am, in front of the Watermark Restaurant on Kits Beach. Come down and check out all the dancing zombies, and take a certain special pride in knowing that after the 6-ish minute dance, I will be completely unable to walk properly for the remainder of the weekend. Hooray!

It sucks to be my feet.

Horrible never ending pain aside, I had an awesome weekend. It amazes me just how much fun stuff you can cram into a weekend if you really try: we tried a new restaurant on Friday night and it was incredible; the Toy Camera photowalk was a blast and I’m really looking forward to getting my film back; Sunday was pretty chill but featured brunch with hungover friends and an excellent scooter ride. This week promises to be nearly as exciting: Fright Night, the Thriller Dance, a hockey game, and perhaps a new TV. Phew! It is exhausting to have so much fun.

Here are some pictures from Saturday (I cheated and had my trusty Canon S5 in addition to my three toy cameras):

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