For the last two weeks, there have been two mysterious bundles attached to beams on opposite sides of the Lions Gate Bridge. They’re strapped to a post overlooking the water, wrapped in black plastic, and have an ominous antenna poking out the top.
Maybe I’ve been watching too many alarmist news casts on CNN, but these bundles freak me the fuck out. Someone should email Jack Bauer and have him take a look. I bet they’re BOMBS! Bombs planted by TERRORISTS! Terrorists who HATE FREEDOM and also the NORTH SHORE!
When I drove by the mystery bundles this morning, I noted that they were still there and still terrifying – but someone had wrapped yellow caution tape around them that read “ALL CLEAR”. That’s good, right? That means someone looked at them and decided they were harmless?
Or maybe that’s what the terrorists WANT us to think! They are trying to lull us into an uneasy sense of security, and what is more secure than a large bundle wrapped in black plastic with an antenna sticking out with a bright yellow label saying it is ALL CLEAR? I sure feel safe now! Move along, nothing to see here!
Seriously, though. What the hell is in those bundles, and why do they look so scary. This is doing my overactive imagination no good whatsoever.
Today my shoes do not match:
sexy!
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So is that considered progress? I hope it helps you feel better either way.
Those yellow shoes are awesome!
I guess that should be- that yellow shoe is awesome! Hope your foot feels better soon.
I like the left one – in a Robocop sort of way. What’s the diagnosis? Post more sexy x-rays please!
i’m all for it! here’s a comment and another child fed =) I hope you get well soon!
Squish! Your poor little foot. Are you going to be able to drive?!
I like the yellow shoe!
The yellow shoe is quite hip, it must be said. But I do like the robot foot…
Don’t scare me like that!
Fancy shoes…be like the Mom on the Cosby Show and fancy that boot up with some glitz! I see battery powered Christmas Lights in your foot’s future!
I hope your feet feel better soon. Doesn’t sound fun.
There’s probably severed heads in those black plastic bundles, if it makes you feel any better, Kimli.
You know that someone has already posted this on a robot foot fetish site, right? (so I’ve been told).
i had to wear one of these when i screwed up my ankle. haha enjoy the pain :(
Ouch dude
Oh, I think I need one of those Robot Feet thingies. I’m stuck wearing Crocs (actually, knock-off fakies, which is even lamer) due to my foot/leg issues. The only thing squishy and roomy enough for me freak foot… but it’s a good idea to wear a normal, wicked shoe on the other foot if you can! I might just have to try that!
Kimli — It sounds like you break your feet even more often than I do. Unsolicited, uncompensated endorsement: get yourself a Roll-A-Bout. It’s like a scooter, except you kneel with your non-propulsion leg instead of stand. SO much nicer than crutches.
A bit of a pain on stairs, but I was able to arrange my days so that I only had two short sets of stairs out in the world each day (one up, one down, to cross under the train tracks), and there was usually someone around who was delighted to carry my cart up the stairs for me. It was pretty light; if there wasn’t anyone around, I’d just literally throw it up a few steps to the next landing, hop up the stairs on my one good foot, lather rinse repeat.
In our 2-floor condo, I would literally crawl up and down the (carpeted) stairs. That was much more of a pain than the railroad stairs — I had bruises on my knees! — but less of a pain than getting up the narrow stairway or using crutches on the stairs.
I got mine in Palo Alto when I lived there. I have done mild looking around in Van. In the orthopedic shop at Van Gen, they said that they’d seen one at a different shop. Alas, I don’t remember what that different shop was.
It cost me $100 to rent one for a month about ten years ago, but it was totally worth it. Seriously, if I break my foot again, I’ll buy one (~$300).