Aquaman is a fucking jerk.

Our car alarm went off this morning at 5am. Ed scrambled around for his car keys to shut it off, but didn’t bother to go investigate because it was early and that would have required pants. We forgot about the interrupted sleep and awoke at our usual time to get ready for the day.

Ed stopped to inspect the car on his way to the bus, and discovered that someone – quite possibly the SAME someone – boot-hatted a dent into the rear driver’s side door. There’s a very clear footprint visible on the now-wrinkled metal, but the hat that did the kicking was smaller than our previous boot-hat attack. If I wasn’t already late for work I would have attempted to canvas our neighbourhood looking for similar shoe prints, but duty called and I had to leave for the lab.

Ed is understandably upset by it all, because there was no reason for the attack – just someone being an asshole. I don’t understand the mentality behind wrecking someone else’s property for shits and giggles, but this latest turn of event has Ed thinking about moving. I don’t really want that – I love our apartment – but it really fucking sucks that there’s basically no way to protect your crap from random people who feel the need to do stupid things for “fun”.

Poor Mazdabator, all covered in bird poop and now with a nasty dent in the door. Come spring we’ll be able to move all the scooters from the back and park the car back there, but that’s no real consolation prize – our scooters have been attacked back there so it’s really no safer than being on the street. I need some sort of force field, or perhaps a bunch of bears. Hungry attack bears that would eat anyone who got too close to my stuff. That would be cool.

Anyone know where I can get some bears?