I can’t stop biting my lip.
While that might sound harmless and perhaps even a little endearing, what I *really* mean is that I cannot stop biting THROUGH my lip and son of a bitch it hurts like the Dickens.
The inside of my lower right lip is swollen from repeated chomps, and every time I eat something I inevitably bite through the tender flesh and it bleeds and is painful and I look like I’ve been punched several times by large men with big gloves.
I’m sadly sort of used to it by now, but today it actually made me cry: I bit through my lower lip while eating a piece of flatbread with buffalo sauce on it.
Tangy, spicy, vinegary buffalo sauce.
I get it, universe: you think I suck. I’m crying uncle now, okay?
delicious juice dot com 
As a fellow self-eater, I know your pain.
This summer I was eating something and ended up literally taking a chuck off my tongue. I considered going to the hospital, it was THAT bad. I asked my friend who is a vetrinarian to look at it. I was in constant pain for a week.