When I got home from work on Friday, I saw something sparkly in the lobby of our apartment building out of the corner of my eye. I leaned in for a closer look, and was amused to note that it was a tiny shiny silver heart – a piece of confetti. Someone had a party in our hallway, and it was very festive.

As I headed to the stairs, I saw more hearts. There were more than a few – in fact, there were a trail of tiny silver hearts heading right up the stairs. I followed the breadcrumbs, and was startled to note that the trail of hearts led right to my apartment door.

Three scenarios immediately popped into my head:

• This was an extremely subtle attempt at seduction
• Ed had some nude and possibly fabulous guests while I was at work
• Someone – possibly Ed – pooped all the way up the stairs and ran into my apartment to hide their shame

The real truth is never, ever as exciting as it plays out in my head.

It turns out that Ed opened a seemingly innocent envelope that we got in the mail, and was horrified to discover the thing was booby-trapped with an enormous amount of blue glitter and silver hearts. It got *everywhere* – his clothes, his pants, in his helmet, and all over the carpet. He went upstairs, dropping confetti with every step and left the envelope outside our door because he didn’t want to bring the glitter into the house. Personally, I would have loved a confetti party all up in the living room – it would have been so very entertaining.