Ed came to bed last night looking all sad and cold. I distractedly asked him what was wrong – I had a wagon full of people I was trying to get to Oregon and didn’t have time to deal with his problems (I am a terrible wife).

“Everything is dead”, he moaned.

I was startled out of my squirrel hunting and looked up at him.

“What was that?” I asked. I wasn’t sure if I heard him correctly – maybe he said that everything was cold (which it was, because our building heat is off).

“Dead! They’re all DEAD!”

Confusion. What was he talking about? Who died? And most importantly, who was this thoroughly morose motherfucker shivering beside me?

“My phone and my DS are DEAD! All my batteries died!”

Aww, bucket! I had a creamy frozen swirl of annoyance and sympathy. I am absolutely unable to understand the concept of a dead cell phone battery, even though I own an iPhone of the 2-hour shelf life variety – I am *always* charging my phone when I am not out fighting crime, so knowing that Ed is at home all damn day and not keeping his phone plugged in at all times is just insubordinate insanity to me.

The other issue – a dead DS battery – I felt much more keenly. We’re down to one DS charger, and my habitual battery abuse is in effect here too – when I’m not using my DS, it’s charging. Ed’s been more or less unable to get a jolt in edgewise, so he’s been running on Nintendo fumes for the last week or so. He got the red battery warning light last night while in the middle of collecting space contraband, and he had to stop playing Puzzle Quest to go give his DS some juice.

Logically, we should just suck up the $15 and buy another adapter. I don’t want to, though – the new Nintendo DSi is coming out in 3 short weeks, and I want one. It’ll come with its own adapter, so Ed can inherit the one I’m currently hogging. See, it all makes sense – why should I spend $15 on another DS charger when in two weeks I’ll get to spend $200 on a shiny new toy I absolutely don’t need? Duh. I have this all worked out, and in my head everything is just super.

I wasn’t going to say anything until the offer letter is in his sticky hands, but since Ed spilled the beans on Facebook last night I shall do the same: he got a job. We don’t know all the details yet, but so far it’s the best possible scenario: same industry, same clients, same co-workers, same part of downtown, additional money. Things are falling into place like the world’s most perfect Tetris run, and I couldn’t be happier for him. Hooray for Ed! You are highly employable and apparently in demand! We will not have to live on ramen and government cheese just yet!

Today is a good day to dance!