My ride to work this morning was a little surreal. There was an accident that really fucked traffic up, and there was a large pile of snow in Stanley Park that was *not* there on the way home yesterday. I have no idea where it came from – it certainly didn’t snow last night, and there are no ice rinks nearby. It makes pretty much no sense for there to be a large, localized pile of snow in the middle of the forest next to a highway.
I had plenty of time to look around as we waited for the accident to be dealt with. After admiring the scenery and once again marveling that I actually live here, my attention fell upon the woman in the car in front of me. I had about 30 minutes to watch her as we crawled along the bridge deck, and she was simultaneously amazing and disgusting. Hey lady in the white Mercedes 530 – maybe it would have been a better idea for you to, I don’t know, DO YOUR HAIR AT HOME BEFORE YOU LEFT THE HOUSE? I rode behind this idiot and watched in horror as she used both hands to brush her hair into place, secure it with various pins, and do it all up in a tight knot with a large clip – several times, since she kept being interrupted with the whole “must move car forward” thing. She had both her rear view mirror and her side mirror pointed at her face as she did herself up all LDS-style, and wasn’t paying any attention to the road whatsoever – she was incredibly lucky that her car had excellent wheel alignment, because she would have driven right into the concrete barrier. Every time we stopped on the bridge she would start doing her hair in earnest, then not moving until I honked at her to go once traffic started flowing again. The second time I honked she stopped what she was doing to glare at me. Clearly, I am in the wrong here and the driver’s seat is the perfect place to do your hair and make up in the morning and I should be ashamed of my rudeness. Yes.
After her hair was sufficiently perfect, she started to apply mascara and then lipstick – all while driving her car. I hope the irony is not lost on her that she was doing her makeup while driving past an accident on the bridge, but I doubt it gave her anything to think about. Some people just feel entitled to endanger others, I suppose.
Also, her hair was horrible and the bright yellow cardigan she was wearing? Barf. I am amused that she almost caused several accidents to make herself look like that on purpose, but that’s pretty mean of me. Maybe I am a terrible person after all.
No time to question my own morality, though – I have a vacation to plan! Yesterday I booked a hotel in San Francisco for our road trip next month. I found a small place right in the middle of all the things I want to see for about $75 a night which is pretty reasonable. I checked a bunch of reviews and they all seem to be really positive, which is good – I didn’t want to stay in a total dive, but we’re also going to be there for 4 nights so we can’t really afford to go for fancy. Besides, I’m not there to hang out in a hotel room – as long as I have a place to plug in my laptop and shower in the morning, I am happy. We’re about a mile from Fisherman’s Wharf, 6 blocks from the crazy section of Lombard Street, close to downtown and Chinatown and Japantown and holy shit I am so excited I could just pee. VACATION! A VACATION THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE EDMONTON IN ANY WAY! YIPPEE!
I’m just very, very excited.
Where was I? Oh yes, being racist.