don't say i didn't warn you
The following program update contains material that may not be suitable for all audiences – reader discretion is advised.
It’s all about the penis!
Last night I went out for dinner with my Army of Gays. We had hot man date planned – cheap pasta followed by alcohol and pornography. If there’s a better way to spend a hot Tuesday night in the armpit of summer, I certainly don’t know about it.
We went to BP’s for Pasta Tuesday, then to the liquor store for supplies. One more quick stop for ice and we were off – it was time for dongs!
Ed did not join us (except for a brief discussion about ball shaving), but we went through my rather impressive collection of gay porn: the 6 Tom of Finland books, various books full of naked men, the book of porn star portraits, and the true reason for the Pasta n’ Penis Party: The Big Book.
It was 3 solid hours of man meat in varying states of arousal. I introduced the Army to Koala Swimwear (it’s not linked for a reason – don’t Google it unless you are in my Army of Gays or wish to become a member, or if you find penises hilarious like I do), most of a bottle of rum was consumed, and good times were had by all (except maybe Ed, who was both overheated and resigned to a lifetime of this). Hooray! I never have an excuse to play with all my porn at once; having the Army of Gays over was awesome!
I can’t help it if I think the human body is neat. I tried looking at my books with other friends, but they were very vocal about their displeasure – there was a lot of “ewwww”. Personally, I think it’s all fascinating. Boobs are awesome. Penises are neat. Vaginas are fun. Scrotums are hilarious – it goes on and on. The naked human body is a nifty thing, and I like looking at them regardless of where the wobbly parts are located.
My Fleshlight is almost here! It’s on a truck and is out for delivery. I’ve always been curious about the Fleshlight – they look so interesting – but I lack the necessary parts to make the most of the squishy delights. I finally decided to get one for Ed – it’s not fair that I have a shelf full of sex toys and he doesn’t – and it should be here sometime today. I am definitely more excited about it than he is, but I think I can convince him to indulge me just a little.
It’s a good thing we’re not rich. I’d probably buy him a Real Doll and make him have sex with it for my amusement.
This is what normal married people do, right?
delicious juice dot com 
I was actually wondering how the Fleshlight was going to work when you tweeted about it the other day. I THOUGHT it was probably pretty unlikely you could say anything that would surprise me at this point, but then again, I’m always on the lookout to learn new things about the people in my life.
Scrotums ARE funny. They look like inari.
Poor Ed. Every time he’s having a good day, somebody is now going to wonder if he’s spent a little time with the fleshlight.
You will have to get a review from Ed on how well it “works”. Inquiring minds want to know!
BP’s is dead to me after taking the mama meata off the menu. “Pasta” Tuesday indeed. Pah.
Ditto the fleshlight!! Haaa….
ditto to jon’s response. have ed do a guest blog.
The last time I attempted a similar purchase for R it failed miserably, as those of you who have heard the sad and painful story know. I wish you great luck with your new purchase!
And dude, some of those penises *deserved* the ewwww response :)
Wow, I should have heeded your warning on the Koala Swimwear site.
Can I haz ballz?
If you looked through the catalog, most of the guys hide their balls.
GRR! UPS came by, sort of – they went to the wrong address, and the person there refused the package because they didn’t have any money on them. Someone almost usurped my box of masturbatory aids! How RUDE! Stupid UPS.