I went to the drug store on my lunch break because I need drugs. The Pharmasave in Bentall 2 has a fairly juicy clearance section, and on this trip I found the Neutrogena Wave on sale for $9. I’m curious about this thing, and god knows I love a good exfoliation so I bought one.

If I can trust the commercials on TV, not only will my skin be glowing after just one use, you’ll also be able to easily find naked pictures of me all over the internet in two separate scandals that somehow don’t ruin my Disney career or side job as a beard to the world’s most comely twink.