I am practicing being a home owner by complaining about city services.

Our streets get cleaned twice a week (which I think is ridiculous and stupid and if they ever raise taxes to pay for city crap I will be up in arms with protest signs and naked Flash Mobs), which is sometimes useful – like, say, when there’s been a rash of car break-ins and there’s broken glass everywhere. For the last three weeks, there’s been a huge pile of glass on the side of the road, but no one has done anything about it because hey, the street cleaners will come by and suck it all up.

Except that hasn’t happened. We assumed the cleaners didn’t come – they like to skip random days but still expect us to follow the parking signs in case they decide to show up – but this morning, I watched the street cleaner do it’s swirly sucking thing and miss the broken glass entirely.

Well, this sucks. I called up the city to complain – all it would take is a 10 degree twist of the steering wheel to the left, and the cleansing sucking would happen. I told two (highly disinterested) people my story, and was eventually forwarded to the voicemail of some sort of foreman. Whether he calls me back to hear my complaint remains to be seen, but I DEMAND JUSTICE SUCKING! Seriously, clean up the fucking glass already. My taxes pay your salary! You have to do what I want! Never mind that I live in an apartment and don’t pay property tax and routinely call upon the law only when it’s convenient for me – shut up and clean my streets!

Perhaps being an unreasonable crazy person isn’t all bad.

Official Thrill the World numbers from Saturday: 242 Vancouver zombies, $3100 raised for the Food Bank, 23,000+ zombies worldwide. Next year’s dance will be Saturday October 23rd at 9:30pm – join the horde of shivering undead!

I’m excited – I have all the pieces I need for my Halloween costume. I haven’t worn a real costume for non-zombie purposes in probably 20 years, so I am very excited about this. My costume has sound effects; it is that awesome. I’ll be wearing it to work on Friday for our Halloween Pie Day and hopefully on Saturday unless I go for warmth over awesome – which, at the moment, sounds mighty tempting: I AM FREEZING!

I wonder if anyone would notice if I set my desk on fire.