I need a secret.
Specifically, I need a PG-13 secret; something harmless enough that it can be shared with my co-workers at our holiday party.
We’re doing “Employee Trivia” as a game, and everyone has to submit at least one fact about themselves that people may not know then we guess for prizes. I have many secrets, but none of them are really suitable for this sort of thing:
- “My name isn’t really Kimli” – well, that would defeat the purpose of guessing
- “I haven’t graduated high school” – not something I necessarily want to tell my boss and co-workers
- “I’m a functional retard at Mario games” – not very PC of me
- “My sister is older than my mother” – true, but I don’t need to share my sordid family past with a bunch of casual acquaintances
- “I’ve gone to Dildo School” – I use this on OK Cupid, and it’s brought me nothing but trouble
What sorts of benign tidbits do normal people share?
delicious juice dot com 
Hmm, we did this at my past company.
I shared that I once placed 3rd in the province in a karate tournament (only 3 people showed up in my division – i sucked hard).
one well-traveled employee’s question was which continent HASN’T he ever visited (answer: Antarctica)
Another guy who collects arcade games was “how many arcade games does Alex have in his basement?”
Perhaps “how many game consoles does Kimli currently own” would be a good one?
Did you do anything in your childhood that you’re embarassed about?
Like be a baton-twirly majorette for instance?
Shhh.. I’ve said too much.
OMG… Marnie actually suggested what my question would be… I WAS a baton-twirling majorette in Elementary School. Wow, did that boost my popularity in grade 3… NOT.
Hmmm… That’s a hard one, actually. I’m never a fan of giving intimate details of any kind to my team. It never goes well.
How many Optimus Prime objets d’art you own?
What about, “How did my husband propose to me?” or “What was my favorite toy growing up?” or “What unusual substance have I used to knit with?”
I usually get them to guess: “in how many places has Laurie broken her right arm?”
I always use “I’m allergic to cows.” It’s silly and nobody ever believes me. I’ve also broken both feet/ankles (at different times) by standing.
Oh, the beauty pagent/baton twirling stuff is good, too. Miss Harvest 1984 represent!
I seem to remember that your wedding pictures were published somewhere, something like that could be a good one. Or maybe a tattoo count?
I use “what game show was I on?” Got anything like that? A brush with stars or fame?
How about ” I am a photography Ninja ” . Followed by ” I have neato photos of everyone here picking their nose while sitting in their cars!” You lull them into feeling so PG-13, then give them a Kimli-zap.
The punctuation suicide story is always a winner.