I need more pornography.

I’ve spent the last couple nights elbow deep in vaginas and smut, making my filthy buttons. I don’t know if there’s a market for these, but I find them absolutely hilarious and will attempt to sell them anyway – I have an unused Etsy store, and I can bring them to Got Craft events. I’ll have to hide them away from the easily offended, but I’ll have some on hand for people who want a little bit of secret filth. In fact, that’s the whole point: a naughty little nugget; a perverted piece of flair. Something to have a secret giggle at when you have to play nice and be professional – Big Brother might try to keep you in line, but who’s going to get in your way when you’ve got more than one hidden vagina? No one, that’s who.

I need to get little baggies for the buttons, but I’ve got a catchy name and a label made already. I’m going to sell them in packs of 4 for $5, or $1.50 each. I don’t really care if they don’t actually sell – I will keep them in jars, just like I do those organs I found once – but I kinda hope they do. It amuses me to wear secret pornography, and I’m sure I can’t be the only one.

I do need to make a run to some used bookstores for some old smut, though – I only had one Penthouse magazine lying around and it’s been cut into many pieces for my own hilarity. The image buttons are pretty cool, but the text ones are definitely my favourite – a little more subtle than wearing an eagle-spread vagina on your lapel, at any rate. Unless you’re into that sort of thing; then who am I to stop you?

In other news: I have new glasses, I’m going to a party tonight, I submitted myself to two hilarious things that will utterly terrify me if I somehow sneak past the screening process, people are submitting questions to my Formspring that aren’t about sex and it’s kind of refreshing, and Miranda’s having a Fancy Dress party in two weeks for her birthday and I can’t WAIT because my outfit is centered around pasties.

No, seriously, I have confidence issues. Can’t you tell?

(these aren't actually smuttons; i'm at work)

with love and without pants