I feel like a neglected child! I am apparently the only person in the office who didn’t know that my boss is on vacation for TWO WEEKS, having left last Saturday. What the hell! I’m his only direct report and he didn’t bother to tell me?! I have pressing issues that must be addressed! Who’s going to throw me emergency flow chart requests on my way to the Diet Coke? Who’s going to fill the ice cube trays when I inevitably empty them and forget to refill? Who’s going to sign my expense report??! I feel so unloved.
I have decided that whenever I buy myself an outlandish present, I am going to justify it because I don’t get honoured with a day of my own. Mother’s Day? Father’s Day? Not going to happen. Administrative Professional Day? I would be horribly offended if someone celebrated it at me, as I’m not an admin worker. IT Professional Day doesn’t technically (heh) exist, and doesn’t exactly fit what I do anyway. I’m not just missing the annual Hallmark occasions, either – I didn’t get a bridal shower OR a bachelorette party, and I’ll never have need of a baby shower. When do I get random cards and presents to celebrate ME? Where’s my breakfast in bed and margarita served out of a giant penis cup?
I have no use for either of those things, so I bought myself a new pair of Fluevogs instead:
There was a $40 gift card (to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Fluevog Shoes) in our media kits for the OPUS Porter launch: I figured it would be rude not to use it, so I went on an expensive but gorgeous spree yesterday afternoon. As much as I love my Qtees, it’s impossible to wear them for very long because of the utter brokenness of my feet. I am tired of life in flats, so I opted to try a lower heel: the shoe I bought has a 1.5” bamboo heel that is, so far, perfect. Hooray! I am slightly taller!
The shoes are fucking HOT on my scooter, too. That’s right; I’m admitting to something on my person being sexy. You can keep your edible underwear and clay ashtrays made in kindergarten – I’ve got sexy shoes and a scooter, so I win.