I do not understand how Ed is not deaf and bow-legged.

I borrowed his scooter to run an important errand – picking up dinner from Anton’s – because Lola is still in the shop and I didn’t want to try to find car-sized parking on the street during the dinner hour. I still have Oscar but he’s uninsured, so Ed’s ride was my only choice.

I don’t think I’ve had a more awkward scooter ride; even that time I tried to scoot in a PVC skirt as a mockery of rain gear was better. His scooter is UNBELIEVABLY LOUD! As annoying as I find his ride because of the noise, it’s even LOUDER when you’re on it. Holy shit, I thought I was going to go deaf in the 6 minutes it took me to get to Anton’s from Sparta. How can he stand it? And the stance! His seat is so wide it felt like most of West Burnaby was privvy to my underpants. The whole thing made me feel really exposed – the seat, the stance, the fact I couldn’t use the mirrors, the wind up my vagina. My helmet is at the shop with my scooter, so I wore my backup half  helmet and that didn’t help the whole “feeling exposed” thing. It was awkward. I’m glad the food was worth it; you can’t go wrong with that much sausage.

We’re off to adventure bright and early tomorrow morning! I don’t know where we’re stopping for the night tomorrow, but I will check in with stories if the hotel has wi-fi. If not, I’ll check in from Portland. Hooray!