Today is an excellent mail day – by 10am, I had received not one but four exciting things in the mail:
- A box full of gnomes
- A postcard from Mike in Switzerland, where he had eaten his weight in cheese by day two
- A letter from the parking elves telling me as of July 1st I’ll be paying 35.52% tax on Lola’s parking spot downtown and if you are outraged you ought to Do Something About It by contacting someone else (this was not all that exciting)
- Five new merit badges from my secret secondary source (don’t tell Nerd Merit Badges that I had an affair):
- Camp Sex
- Drunk Texting
- Drinking Alone
- Attacked by a Squirrel
- Bacon Appreciation
- Included with the merit badges were a series of TERRIFYING POSTCARDS featuring Urban Beasts in nightmarish poses
I like good mail days. This, plus a 3-day work week, make for a good Monday morning.
coincidentally, all these badges were earned on one epic night
delicious juice dot com 
OMG, I *need* a ‘Bacon Appreciation’ badge! My ‘I <3 bacon' button just won't cut it.
There needs to be a badge for not remembering if you’ve had camp sex because you’re always drunk when camping.
I don’t think I’ve ever showered while drunk. Personal hygiene never seems to be on my mind at that point. Though sex in the shower while drunk, that goes without saying. There needs to be a badge for that too.
A squirrel sort of attacked me at UBC once. Well, it ran up to me super fast and then stopped when I screamed.
Everything is very open with a really clear explanation of the issues.
It was really informative. Your site is extremely helpful.
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I’ve read stuff from. Many thanks for posting when you’ve got the opportunity,
Guess I’ll just bookmark this site.