keep it wholesome

A Petition to Nintendo:

The Animal Crossing franchise and series, created and produced by Nintendo Entertainment (hereafter referred to as Nintendo), is marketed as family-friendly and child-safe. We believe that the new installment of this series for the new Nintendo 3DS handheld console, hereafter referred to as “Animal Crossing 3DS”, should maintain this tradition.

In particular, we believe that romance and dating have no place in this game. The purpose of this petition is to voice our concerns as loyal customers, good parents, and/or concerned consumers that Animal Crossing 3DS should stick to its family-friendly roots. We implore Nintendo to remove the ability for the player’s in-game character to date and romance fellow villagers, who take the form of walking, talking animals. This can be construed as a sign of support for bestiality, and while we are not making the claim that this is Nintendo’s purpose, we certainly do not wish to see anything even remotely related to this sentiment present in the final product.

In one conference demonstration, the player was shown kissing a porcupine. This is not only completely unacceptable for its context, it also could have more immediate health concerns should any young and impressionable players attempt to emulate what they see.

In short, this is a game marketed toward family audiences and young children, and we find the introduction of romance, dating, and anything of its kind to be wholly inappropriate content given this consideration. Doubly so, because of the animal-like nature of the possible targets of that romance. We ask that Nintendo remove this content for the North American release of Animal Crossing 3DS.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

Oh. My. God.

I .. I don’t have any other words.

So I’m going to go make out with a porcupine.

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