Aww, man. When I read the  headline about the Mafia going green, I was genuinely amused and heartwarmed – I had visions of people being whacked in environmentally friendly ways. Bodies turned to fertilizer for organic gardening; recycled cement shoes. Blood stains washed out of clothing using the cold water cycle only. Waking up next to a horsehead made of tofu. Say hello to my little friend, who runs on wind power. Make him an offer he can’t refuse on energy-efficient lighting. Drive through the Jersey Turnpike in an electric car. You know, a healthy mix of both mob stereotypes and Al Gore. That isn’t at all what the article is about, though – they’re just laundering money through alternative energy companies. Booo! My vision is much cuter than that. I hate it when reality collides with my happy little hilarious world.